


Our Bagel Oath

by Lonely_Broccoli



Series: Haikyuu!! Group Chats [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi is Sassy, Akaashi loves his boyfriend, Arguing, Bad Flirting, Bad Puns, Bisexual Character, Bokuto and his bad choices, Boys Kissing, Constant sass wars, Dick Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Established Relationship, Eventual Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone likes bagels, First Dates, First Kisses, First dates are meant to be bad, Fluff and Humor, Heathers References, Immature humour, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Iwaizumi Hajime Is So Done, Iwaizumi has a Godzilla obsession, Iwaizumi is great at giving the sex talk, Kindaichi is too innocent for his own good, Kindaichi wants peace all he got was group chat riots, Love Confessions, M/M, Memes, Minor Injuries, Never anger Akaashi you will not survive it, Pineapple on pizza debate, Protect IwaKin they deserve all the love, Scary Movies, Sexual Humor, Technically underage but they aren't kids, Textfic, Texting, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, chatfic, serious discussion about porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 18:36:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 14,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13013751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonely_Broccoli/pseuds/Lonely_Broccoli
Summary: Akyaashee:listen up Tsucuntshima if I could I would get on the train and castrate you with a forkKingHairwax:But wouldn't a fork make the job harder? Especially if it's plastic?Godziwa:People don't normally use forks when castrating other people.





	1. Owls and Bagels

**Author's Note:**

> Heya! This is a chatfic, inspired by several that I've read here. I hope you enjoy your stay!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Akyaashee:** Let's not dig deeper there 
> 
>  **KingHairwax:** Dig deeper? 
> 
>  **Tsukissyma:** That's what Akaashi says in bed 
> 
>  **Godziwa:** KNOCK IT OFF THERE ARE FIRST YEARS HERE 

_Hooters added Akyaashee, Tsukissyma, KingHairwax, Godziwa and Rasputin to the chat._

**Hooters:** Hey hey! What are you guys up to?!

 **Tsukissyma:** Is this Bokuto-san

 **Rasputin:** Who is KingHairwax?? 

 **KingHairwax:** Why is nobody questioning the fact that we're in a group chat with Rasputin?! Didn't he die?! Can I have a selfie??  

 **Tsukissyma:** the lack of common sense makes me want to shoot myself 

 **Hooters:** Dude you sound so sad XD 

 **Tsukissyma:** I do not. And the XD face makes you look like a loser, tbh 

 **Akyaashee:** Fuck you 

 **Tsukissyma:** I thought you were on my side?! 

 **Akyaashee:** I'm sorry but I will always take my boyfriend's side fight me 

 **KingHairwax:** Boyfriend?!

 **Hooters:** I'm Akaashi's boyfriend! :D and also fuck you too Tsukishima! Oh wait.. nobody will. 

 **Godziwa:** Since we're all confused here, why don't we all introduce ourselves?? 

 **Rasputin:** Whoa, a lot happened while I went out for a snack! Btw, I'm Haiba Lev, and this is my face

_Rasputin sent a photo._

**Hooters:** LMAO I THINK RASPUTIN LOST HIS BEARD

 **KingHairwax:** I'm Kindaichi Yuutarou, and I play for Aoba Johsai High School! 

 **Akyaashee:** Guys. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT RASPUTIN!? FOR FUCKS SAKE THAT'S LEV FROM NEKOMA. Also, my name is Akaashi Keiji, and I'm a setter at Fukurodani High. 

 **Hooters:** Yikes! You guys can't tell, but Akaashi sure is pissed! 

 **** **Rasputin:** Did Bokuto just imply that he's with Akaashi rn 

 **Godziwa:** I'm Iwaizumi from Aoba Johsai. 

 **Tsukissyma:** Tsukishima, Karasuno. 

 **Hooters:** Dude I can literally feel the tiredness radiating from you 

 **Tsukissyma:** Why the flying fuck am I even here 

 **Hooters:** remember when Kuroo and me surveyed everyone about whether paninis and bagels are better? This is a chat for the intelligent people that chose bagel!

 **Godziwa:** I'm not sure about the intelligent part.. 

 **Akyaashee:** Let's not dig deeper there 

 **KingHairwax:** Dig deeper? 

 **Tsukissyma:** That's what Akaashi says in bed 

 **Godziwa:** KNOCK IT OFF THERE ARE FIRST YEARS HERE 

 **Hooters:** Let's knock off your dick while we're at it 

 **Rasputin:** Shush bagelfucker 

 **Hooters:** EXCUSE ME RASPUTIN IMPERSONATOR 

 **Tsukissyma:** Bagelphilia Owl 

 **Godziwa:** Lol never knew Bokuto was sexually attracted to bagels 

 **Akyaashee:** the only thing that sexually attracts Bokuto is me 

 **Rasputin:** I think I've seen enough of that in training camps 

 **KingHairwax:** If the Fukurodani captain is an owl, does that mean Akaashi is attracted to animals? 

 **Akyaashee:** The fact that you asked this without any sense of irony gives me a brain aneurysm.

 **Tsukissyma:** You sometimes look like one too 

 **Akyaashee:** Stfu Succishima Dickei  

 **Hooters:** OOOOOOOOHHHH GET REKT SUCKYSHIMA 

 **Godziwa:** We shouldn't be fighting like this! Aren't we all part of the bagel club? 

 **Rasputin:** Since when were we a club

 **Akyaashee:** We must make an oath to the bagels

 **Akyaashee:** I will pledge my loyalty to the bagels 

 **Akyaashee:** What about you guys 

 **Hooters:** I WILL PLEDGE

 **Godziwa:** I pledge. 

 **Rasputin:** I pledge! 

 **KingHairwax:** I guess I pledge too. 

 **Tsukissyma:** You guys will be on my ass about it if I don't do this now, so I pledge. 

 **Hooters:** That won't be the only thing on your ass Tsukkiyama ;) 

 **Akyaashee:**.....

 **Godziwa:** That's enough ass talk for today 

 **KingHairwax:** I thought Bokuto-san was dating Akaashi-san 

 **Rasputin:** Ooooooh love triangle time? 

 **Akyaashee:** Bokuto-san you're unbelievable 

 **Hooters:** OH. 

 **Hooters:** AGHASASHE I'M SORRY 

 **Tsukissyma:** did you fuck the keyboard or is that how you say Akaashi-san's name 

 **Godziwa:** losing a lover must be hard. If you need to talk, I'm always here, Akaashi. 

 **Hooters:** I DIDNT MESN IR IMSORYY 

_Akyaashee sent a photo._

**Akyaashee:** Bokuto-san is actually crying thanks everyone 

 **Hooters:** I wasn't!!!! 

 **Rasputin:** I can see tears dripping down your cheek why u gotta be so in denial 

 **KingHairwax:** Is he okay now Akaashi??? 

 **Rasputin:** BOKUTO IS WITH AKAASHI CONFIRMED 

 **Akyaashee:** Bokuto-san is fine as of now. Let's just say that he will be on my ass for a while- you can interpret that whichever way you want. 

 **Godziwa:** ENOUGH IS ENOUGH NO MORE ASS 

 **Tsukissyma:** buttocks then? 

 **Hooters:** Bumcheeks 

 **Rasputin:** Butt 

 **Akyaashee:** Gluteus Maximus 

 **Godziwa:** Everyone except Kindaichi can fuck off 

 **Hooters:** lol is Kindaichi yours to keep 

 **Rasputin:** OooooOooOOO ;))))))) 

 **KingHairwax:** Please don't bother Iwaizumi-san 

 **Godziwa:** It's 10PM I'm gonna sleep bye bye bullshit 


	2. Gingerbread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Godziwa:** don't say that. I'm sure Bokuto's penis matches his personality. 
> 
>  **Tsukissyma:** Wouldn't Akaashi be dead if that were to happen 
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** Why the fuck would I die 
> 
>  **Rasputin:** Dude. Are you seriously asking that 
> 
>  **Rasputin:** organ rupture 
> 
>  **Tsukissyma:** rectum destructum 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya everyone! I've decided to update this little text fic again, since I didn't want to sit around on a Sunday evening doing jack shit. also the jokes and stuff get hella sexual so warning in advance.

**KingHairwax:** Guys look 

 **KingHairwax:** I made some gingerbread! 

_KingHairwax sent a photo._

**Akyaashee:** What shapes are those meant to be? 

 **Hooters:** Can I have one 

 **KingHairwax:** I tried to make gingerbread men but failed 

 **Rasputin:** Gingerblobs 

 **Godziwa:** I think they look pretty good. 

 **Tsukissyma:** Zoom in a little on the left 

 **KingHairwax:** Like.. this? 

_KingHairwax sent a photo._

**Hooters:** DUDE THAT ONE AT THE TOP HAS SUCH A WEIRD SHAPE

 **Rasputin:** Bagel boy shhh 

 **Tsukissyma:** Kindaichi are you gonna decorate them

 **KingHairwax:** we got a packet of icing so I could use that..? 

 **Rasputin:** u should totally put it on them 

 **Akyaashee:** I don't like where this is heading 

 **Tsukissyma:** I bet you've been heading Bokuto yesterday 

 **Godziwa:** Tsukishima please 

 **Akyaashee:** Yeah Tsukishima you got nobody to say that to you

 **Godziwa:** Where did Kindaichi go?? 

 **Rasputin:** He's gone to ice the gingerbread 

 **Tsukissyma:** I wonder if "ice" is the proper word 

 **Hooters:** YOU GUYS ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST LMAOOOO 

 **Tsukissyma:** hey at least we don't use bagels as a fleshlight 

 **Rasputin:** I bet his dick is small enough to fit through twice 

 **Godziwa:** don't say that. I'm sure Bokuto's penis matches his personality. 

 **Tsukissyma:** Wouldn't Akaashi be dead if that were to happen 

 **Akyaashee:** Why the fuck would I die 

 **Rasputin:** Dude. Are you seriously asking that 

 **Rasputin:** organ rupture 

 **Tsukissyma:** rectum destructum 

 **Godziwa:** Is that a Harry Potter spell

 **Rasputin:** his rectum would be a wrecktum 

 **Hooters:** YOU GUYS ARE HORRIBLE AT PUNS 

 **Godziwa:** let's stop talking about rectums 

 **Akyaashee:** can I just say one thing bc you guys seem to be confused 

 **Rasputin:** sure 

 **Akyaashee:** I've never taken it up the ass 

 **Godziwa:** oh 

 **Tsukissyma:** AKAASHI WTF DO YOU MEAN 

 **Rasputin:** After all those innuendos you guys have never done the bambam!!

 **Hooters:** you guys calm down we've sexed it up like 5 times last weekend 

 **Godziwa:** too much information 

 **Rasputin:** Guys I think he means that Bokuto is a bottom...?? 

 **Tsukissyma:** Lolololol as if

 **Hooters:** dude it's not so bad 

 **Tsukissyma:** what 

 **Akyaashee:** what 

 **Godziwa:** Guys, it's not so hard. Bokuto and Akaashi can fuck however they like

 **Hooters:** yeah what Iwaizumi said!! You the man!! 

 **Tsukissyma:** but.. it's like Dale and Chip 

 **Rasputin:** bottom to top 

 **Tsukissyma:** tock tick 

 **Rasputin:** dally-dilly

 **Tsukissyma:** it just doesn't seem right tbh  

 **Akyaashee:** Okay listen 

 **Akyaashee:** If I want to fucking rail Bokuto-san I will, no matter how unnatural anyone thinks that is

 **Akyaashee:** maybe because Bokuto-san looks like he can rip out the bloody Tokyo Tower you guys can't imagine me topping him, but seriously idgaf 

 **Akyaashee:** and if you don't want me to go into gross detail then I suggest we drop this line of conversation

 **Hooters:** yeah what he said 

 **Tsukissyma:** are you sure you understand what he said..? 

 **Rasputin:** I sure understood, sorry Akaashi 

 **Godziwa:** Akaashi has a point. We should respect everybody's choices in regards to rectums 

_KingHairwax sent a photo._

**KingHairwax:** I finally finished decorating the gingerbread!

 **Hooters:** OH BOY KINDAICHI YOU JUST HAD TO SENT IT NOW 

 **KingHairwax:** Did I say something wrong?? Oh god you guys were arguing about.. what? 

 **Tsukissyma:** LOOK WHERE HE PLACED THE ICING ON THAT ONE GINGERBREAD IM DY.INGAGSHSNSHAHAHA 

 **Hooters:** The fact that Kindaichi's so oblivious is hilarious dude

 **KingHairwax:**?.... 

 **Akyaashee:** I feel too bad for him I'm gonna tell him

 **Akyaashee:** Kindaichi, one of your gingerbread cookies look like a dick spraying cum because of the way you iced it 

 **KingHairwax:** wdym..? 

 **Hooters:** he literally said it. You unintentionally made your gingerbread resemble a dick. Spraying. Its. Load. 

 **Godziwa:** he means that your gingerbread looks like a penis ejaculating 

 **KingHairwax:** oh 

 **Rasputin:** even I know this shit have you been living under a rock Kindaichi?? 

 **KingHairwax:** so a penis is called a dick, I understand.. but why would you call the white stuff cum 

 **Tsukissyma:** I'm back I fell over laughing and I bashed my foot on the table 

 **Tsukissyma:** GOD DAMMIT KINDAICHI 

 **Akyaashee:** Kindaichi. Do you know what an orgasm is 

 **KingHairwax:** uh no.. I heard the word a few times though 

 **Hooters:** this kid is too innocent for this chat 

 **Hooters:** he won't be soon enough 

_Rasputin posted a photo._

**Rasputin:** idk how to explain this so this is a screenshot from a sexual health website 

 **Akyaashee:** Lev I was halfway through my 5 sentence response you ass 

 **Godziwa:** Do you understand now, Kindaichi? 

 **KingHairwax:**..... I still don't get why you call it cum 

 **Hooters:** k basically "To have an orgasm" is a synonym of "to cum" 

 **KingHairwax:** but why do you guys know this stuff?? We shouldn't be going off having sex and all that, we're high schoolers! 

 **Rasputin:** this shallot kid I swear to god 

 **KingHairwax:** I've had enough of all this inappropriate stuff but whatever the gingerbread tastes great

 **Hooters:** you ate that dick? Lmaooo 

 **Tsukissyma:** I haven't been able to breathe until now thanks to you guys 

 **Godziwa:** uh Bokuto why did you say "laugh my ass off off off" 

 **Godziwa:** also Kindaichi has a point, you guys shouldn't be having so much sex 

 **Hooters:** it's fine we use birth control 

 **Rasputin:** I mean, condoms are a must, right? 

 **Akyaashee:**......

 **Hooters:** Nah I'm on the Pill 

 **Tsukissyma:** I have.. no words. 

 **KingHairwax:** I feel stupid now.. 

 **Godziwa:** Kindaichi, you can ask me anything you need to after practice. I don't think this chat is a reliable source of information. 

 **Hooters:** Did you indirectly insult all of us 

 **Tsukissyma:** is nobody jumping onto the fact that Kindaichi just ate what looks like a dick spraying icing

 **Akyaashee:** It's because we felt bad for you that even Kindaichi gets to eat more dick than you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* unpopular opinion but I think bottom Bokuto is good shit and it's always nice to see. Criticism and feedback always welcome! I actually based the gingerbread story on my own experience haha.


	3. Too many drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hooters:** This is going to end horribly, or horribly chaotic. 
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** I need to stop this
> 
>  **Rasputin:** how..? 
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** pray to Satan since if Gods exist, they've abandoned this chat 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in which a panini is mentioned amongst the bagels, and things take a turn for the worse after some booze is thrown into the mix.

**Rasputin:** I'm in deep shit 

 **Hooters:** is that a gay sex thing or..? 

 **Godziwa:** shut up Bokuto. 

 **Hooters:** sorry heather. 

 **KingHairwax:** what happened?? 

 **Akyaashee:** were you caught licking someone's shoe? 

 **Hooters:** did you forget to wear pants

 **Godziwa:** did a bird shit on you? 

 **Rasputin:** NO

 **Rasputin:** There was a pantsing war in the club room 

 **Hooters:** really??!

 **Akyaashee:** Bokuto-san, don't even think about it

 **Rasputin:** and they pulled down my underwear too 

 **KingHairwax:** Oh god.. I'm so sorry, are you okay?? 

 **Akyaashee:** owch 

 **Godziwa:** Did you get made fun of? 

 **Hooters:** did they say things about the size? 

 **Rasputin:** well... 

 **Rasputin:** they wouldn't stop saying stuff like "XL thicc dicc" 

 **Hooters:**.............

 **Godziwa:** that's.. unfortunate? 

 **Hooters:** was that extremely passive bragging? 

 **KingHairwax:** dicc? 

 **Akyaashee:** well... I guess it's tough on the other side too? 

 **Hooters:** Wdym other size? You should be proud of your dick, Akaashi! 

 **Akyaashee:** if you mention my dick size here I will shred yours 

 **Godziwa:** but at least your best friend didn't pull out a ruler on you with their dick and yours side by side

 **Rasputin:** that's oddly specific.... 

 **KingHairwax:** Did that happen with you and Oikawa-san? 

 **Godziwa:** KINDAICHI 

 **Akyaashee:** guys.. I've been worried that this chat is lacking its usual conflict and sarcasm

 **Hooters:** isn't that a good thing? 

 **Rasputin:** The kissy guy is missing!!!11! 

 **Akyaashee:** that explains it

 **Godziwa:** I mean, we all have a life outside of this chat.

 **Hooters:** tbh Tsukishima doesn't have a life outside of dinos

 **Tsukissyma:** exchsd me!!?,,,.

 **KingHairwax:** are you drunk? 

 **Hooters:** he sounds drunk lolololol 

 **Tsukissyma:** I taste drunk too 

 **Akyaashee:** but you're underage! You shouldn't be drinking!

 **Godziwa:** Akaashi's right. How did you get ahold of booze anyway? 

 **Tsukissyma:** house party 

 **Rasputin:** Tsukishima listen 

 **Rasputin:** the advice I have for you is, TURN OFF YOUR WIFI NOW. 

 **Hooters:** no don't I wanna see some shit go down 

 **KingHairwax:** Tsukishima, are you going to be okay? Does it hurt anywhere? 

 **Tsukissyma:** no but my dick hurts when I think of the Nekoma captain 

 **Hooters:** W H 

 **Godziwa:** Tsukishima. Go to the bathroom, fill the sink with water and dunk your head in.

 **Hooters:** A T 

 **Akyaashee:** you... you like Kuroo? 

 **Rasputin:** the Kuroo that wears sardine underpants? 

 **Tsukissyma:** thanks for the info but I'd rather see them off

 **Tsukissyma:** how do you add members to a group chat? 

 **KingHairwax:** PLEASE JUST TURN OFF YOUR PHONE I PROMISE YOU WILL REGRET THIS

 **Tsukissyma:** also Kindaichi, I'm not romantically interested in you in any way, but I just wanna say that you have a great ass. 

 **KingHairwax:** uh....??? Thanks? 

 **Godziwa:** leave my kouhai alone -_- 

 **Hooters:** This is going to end horribly, or horribly chaotic. 

 **Akyaashee:** I need to stop this

 **Rasputin:** how..? 

 **Akyaashee:** pray to Satan since if Gods exist, they've abandoned this chat 

_Tsukissyma has added DarkEnchantedKuroobar to the chat._

**Akyaashee:** FUCK 

 **Godziwa:** BOKUTO HOW DO YOU KICK MEMBERS OUT 

 **DarkEnchantedKuroobar:** dude you guys don't have to be so rude.. -_- 

 **KingHairwax:** this was a mistake. Sorry Kuroo, can you leave? 

 **DarkEnchantedKuroobar:** Geez, how did the rift between the panini chat and bagel chat grow so big? 

 **Tsukissyma:** heya Kuroo, I just want to tell you that I love you 

 **Rasputin:** WHERE THE FUCK IS BOKUTO???

 **Hooters:** dude sorry I was in the bathroom! 

 **Hooters:** oH MY GOD 

 **Tsukissyma:** I love your personality, I love the way you block, you're an amazing team captain 

 **DarkEnchantedKuroobar:** Tsukishima is this a dare..? 

 **Akyaashee:** KUROO TSUKISHIMA'S DRUNK WE'RE SORRY ON HIS BEHALF 

_DarkEnchantedKuroobar has left the chat._

**Hooters:** I kicked him out.. 

 **Godziwa:** I think it's a tad too late, Bokuto. 

 **KingHairwax:** What do we do now? This ended horribly.. 

 **Godziwa:** as much as we'd like to help, we have to let this issue resolve between Kuroo and Tsukishima. 

 **Rasputin:** I have no words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if the end seems rushed, my dad's dragging us all to church and I wanted to get this up before that happens. Merry Christmas everyone!


	4. Sardines and Strawberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twenty missed calls and more than ninety-nine notifications had flooded his phone. Most of the calls were from Bokuto, Akaashi and Iwaizumi, and a few were from Kindaichi and Lev. who all had one thing in common. They were part of that dreaded doughy chat. He opened up the messages from Akaashi first, seeing as he was pretty level-headed when it didn't concern Bokuto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter in bed without any sense of Christmas spirit and I have no regrets.

Tsukishima woke up with the most excruciating headache that he had ever experienced in his life. He had miraculously been left in his bed by whoever that was unfortunate enough to be entrusted with the job, which was good, but.. what had he done to himself? 

The memories of the party were coming back at an alarming rate. The house party that had been held because of his brother's college friend turning twenty, and the alcohol that he had somehow convinced himself to drink. 

He had experienced a horrible nightmare about confessing to Kuroo, the person that he secretly admired and simultaneously hated himself for doing so. He could have fallen for anyone other than that sardine-underpants wearing dork. The question was, how did he know that he wore something like that? 

Twenty missed calls and more than ninety-nine notifications had flooded his phone. Most of the calls were from Bokuto, Akaashi and Iwaizumi, and a few were from Kindaichi and Lev. who all had one thing in common. They were part of that dreaded doughy chat. He opened up the messages from Akaashi first, seeing as he was pretty level-headed when it didn't concern Bokuto. 

 **Akyaashee:** Tsukishima, is this true that you like Kuroo? 

 **Akyaashee:** You've passed out, haven't you? Well, in case you open these messages first, and you've forgotten what you did, here's what happened: 

 **Akyaashee:** you dragged Kuroo into the bagel chat and confessed to him 

 **Akyaashee:** text me back if you see this 

Tsukishima muttered "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck..." continuously to himself as the uncomfortable truth had been delivered to him. He was afraid to check the messages from Bokuto, Kuroo and the bagel chat, but he opened up the group chat anyway. 

And there it all was, the typed record of his drunken actions. 

His finger hovered over Kuroo's profile on his messages for a while before he tapped on it, preparing himself for some serious teasing or belittling. Possibly both. Kuroo knew know to press all the right buttons to irk him. Kuroo had the most effective blackmail material against him now, and had the power to destroy him inside out. 

 **DarkEnchantedKuroobar:** Tsukki... 

 **DarkEnchantedKuroobar:** Akaashi gave me a long chat to make sure I won't blackmail you or anything so don't worry 

 **DarkEnchantedKuroobar:** but.. is this something you did while you were drunk because you thought it would be fun?

 **DarkEnchantedKuroobar:** I'll just forget about it if that's the case. 

Tsukishima's relief was extremely short-lived. Kuroo was giving him a chance to blame everything on alcohol, even the confession. All he had to do was type three words and press send, and everything would be over. 

_Tsukissyma is typing.._

_It's not true. I was drunk. Forget it, please._ Tsukishima typed many variations of his excuse, then erased it all over and over. What was he so nervous about? It wasn't like Kuroo even liked him enough to take his confession seriously. And yet, he couldn't bear the thought of Kuroo pretending that he had never seen the messages. 

_Tsukissyma is typing.._

_Sorry, Kuroo. It's my mistake._ The letters on the screen and Kuroo's profile picture of his Harry Potter cosplay began to blur. Droplets of tears dripped onto his phone. The choked-up feeling in his chest kept growing and growing like an overfed monster, until he couldn't ignore it anymore.

Tsukishima began to sob into his palm, not caring that he felt like it was preventing him from breathing. His head pounded from his hangover and crying too much, and he was sure that he wasn't having a hangover, but was dying from a brain injury. It didn't seem so bad when he thought about it. It wasn't like he could live with the humiliation, even if none of the members at Karasuno knew. The sarcastic, annoying Tsukishima that took the piss out of others for a living was gay for his rival team's captain. If that wasn't laughable, then nothing was. 

His phone vibrated, and even through his tears he could tell that Kuroo was giving him a phone call. Tsukishima could have ignored it, but he had ignored everyone's texts and calls for long enough. He accepted the call, hastily drying his eyes with his sleeve. 

"Tsukki, did I interrupt your typing?"

A familiar gravelly voice asked, once Tsukishima had made it clear that he wasn't making the first move. It sounded as if Kuroo had also been crying, but Tsukishima knew that wasn't possible. He wasn't someone worth crying over, especially to Kuroo. It was a mystery to him why he tried so hard to talk to him, even after he had been rude and aloof towards him. 

"No, Kuroo. I.. I'm sorry. I caused so much trouble for everyone," Tsukishima answered with a sigh. His voice cracked halfway through the sentence, which almost made him hang up. "But I just wanted to say that I didn't do it for shits and giggles. You know," 

"But you _were_ drunk," Kuroo's tone was a little accusing. "Well, if you want to break my heart, now's the chance." 

"That's my line. You're the one who has the power to ruin me, in one way or another." 

"On what grounds do you think that?" 

"The worst thing I can do to you right now is to yell sike and hang up." 

A light chuckle came from the other end of the phone. It was empty, and Tsukishima could tell that Kuroo was only attempting to lighten the mood. He would have much rather have him say he didn't like him and get it over with, but it didn't work the way he wanted it to. Kuroo wanted answers, just like Tsukishima did. 

"Tsukki. You know, I'm not that weirded out. Well, no, I am, but the thing is, I don't know whether to take your drunk confession seriously. I won't be mad if you didn't mean it, I promise."

Kuroo's tone was softer, and listening to him honestly hurt Tsukishima. He had been avoiding the question that he needed to answer in order to end the call, to end the uncertainty. 

"No! I, uh, I was drunk, but I didn't.. I don't want you to think that I was screwing around with you," 

"I like you, Tsukki. Will you go out with me?" 

Tsukishima fell silent at the unexpected response. If this was a joke to get back at him, it wasn't making him laugh. The tears that were threatening to fall stopped. His mouth hung wide open at the slight possibility that Kuroo liked him back. 

"There you go. Now we're both equal, aren't we?" 

"Kuroo, if this is a joke-" 

"No, it's not. So, are you going to give me an answer? I gave you yours a moment ago." 

Tsukishima took a deep breath. The events that had happened within the last five minutes were the most turbulent moments in his life. The uncertainty lying deep inside him was slapped away by Kuroo's firm words. He had brought all of the chaos upon himself, and yet the Nekoma captain was still eager to give him a chance. No, he wasn't been given a chance. He was being wanted. 

"Yes, I will. I will go out with you, Kuroo." 

"Thanks for the sober confession," 

"Wow, thank you so much for rubbing it in."

"This is what you get for leaving me with so many questions." 

Kuroo was laughing at Tsukishima's light anguish. The tension in the atmosphere was finally released, and Tsukishima had the dorkiest person he knew as a boyfriend. 


	5. Bagel crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Godziwa:** You only have a bf because you got drunk as fuck 
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** I'm pretty sure you had a mental breakdown the morning after 
> 
>  **Tsukissyma:** I did not, I'm actually v emotionally stable unlike your bf 
> 
>  **Hooters:** that's below the belt ;_; 
> 
>  **KingHairwax:** I mean, at least you have an active life below the belt..? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can physically feel the chapter names getting more and more horrible each time, but I hope you enjoy this all the same! Two chapters written in one day.. 0_0 I have absolutely no idea how I managed it!

**Rasputin:** soooooo Tsukishima, what did you do to Kuroo? 

 **Rasputin:** he's missed all his blocks during practice and almost died after hitting his crotch on the corner of the net 

 **Hooters:** how the fuck do you do that, did Kuroo breakdance into practice or some shit? 

 **Rasputin:** we can't have him like this forever. I DEMAND ANSWERS. 

 **Tsukissyma:** fine 

 **Tsukissyma:** Kuroo and I are officially dating now 

 **KingHairwax:** w h a t

 **Godziwa:** t h e 

 **Akyaashee:** f u ck 

 **Rasputin:** you ruined it Akaashi -_- 

 **Hooters:** it's still not as bad as Kuroo's dick 

 **Rasputin:** I swear to god I think he got castrated by that critical hit 

 **KingHairwax:** Castrated? So he can't have sex anymore? 

 **Godziwa:** that's sad. 

 **Tsukissyma:** not as sad as your love life 

 **Godziwa:** You only have a bf because you got drunk as fuck 

 **Akyaashee:** I'm pretty sure you had a mental breakdown the morning after 

 **Tsukissyma:** I did not, I'm actually v emotionally stable unlike your bf 

 **Hooters:** that's below the belt ;_; 

 **KingHairwax:** I mean, at least you have an active life below the belt..? 

 **Rasputin:** LMAOOOO KINDAICHI ROAST HIM 

 **Tsukissyma:** Stfu it's not like you have a better sex life than me 

 **KingHairwax:** We shouldn't be having sex really... 

 **Akyaashee:** true. It's great though 

 **Hooters:** you should try massaging your prostate sometime lol 

 **Godziwa:** Oh god Bokuto tmi 

 **Tsukissyma:** Well you could say that Kindaichi probably never jacks off so his dick is "kinda-itchy"? 

 **Rasputin:** GOD DAMMIT WHY THE PUN 

 **KingHairwax:** Uh.. please don't talk about my dick

 **Tsukissyma:** We're all guys here there's nothing to be ashamed of 

 **Akyaashee:** Well, most of us are gay guys so that's precisely the problem here 

 **Godziwa:** Let's not make anyone uncomfortable here. 

 **Hooters:** Aren't we all gay here? 

 **Godziwa:** It's not polite to make assumptions about everyone as a whole, but I'm gay. 

 **Akyaashee:** Bokuto and I are gay 

 **Tsukissyma:** if I were any gayer I would be expelling rainbows from both ends 

 **Godziwa:** That sounds disgusting 

 **Rasputin:** I'm gay and I saw my crush's penis yesterday 

 **Tsukissyma:** you.. you did what? 

 **Rasputin:** we had a pantsing war it wasn't my fault 

 **Hooters:** Well Lev proved that he has a better sex life than you Tsukki XD 

 **Tsukissyma:** Shut up I'm the one who has a boyfriend 

 **Akyaashee:** Because you had a drinking problem and a meltdown 

 **KingHairwax:**....... 

 **KingHairwax:** I gotta ask you guys something 

 **Hooters:** If it's about sex then I'm your man but if it's school bye 

 **Godziwa:** Did something happen? 

 **KingHairwax:** No, it's not anything like that..

 **Tsukissyma:** you can tell us, you're a decent person so I won't insult you 

 **Rasputin:** lmaoooo Tsukishima who do you think you are 

 **Tsukissyma:** Someone in an actual relationship 

 **Akyaashee:** just ignore them Kindaichi lol 

 **KingHairwax:** I've never told anyone this before, but.. is it normal to like males and females? 

 **Hooters:** ohhhh so you're bisexual? 

 **KingHairwax:** What does that mean...? 

 **Akyaashee:** It's when you're attracted to more than one gender 

 **Tsukissyma:** it doesn't happen to everyone, but it's nothing abnormal.

 **KingHairwax:** So it's okay? 

 **Godziwa:** Yeah. I'm pretty sure there might be someone in Seijoh who's bi too. 

 **Hooters:** So, Kindaichi.. are you attracted to anyone at the moment? 

 **Godziwa:** If you're comfortable with saying, that is. 

 **KingHairwax:**...Yes. 

 **Rasputin:** is it from someone from my team? Because if yes, I can help ;) 

 **Akyaashee:** Since Seijoh haven't gone to a training camp in Tokyo for ages, I doubt it. 

 **KingHairwax:** It isn't. 

 **Hooters:** What does their surname start with? 

 **KingHairwax:**...

 **KingHairwax:** bye bi 

 **Rasputin:** OHHHHH MY GOD. 

 **Tsukissyma:** He got out of it smoothly this time.. 

 **Tsukissyma:** We'll find out sooner or later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos and bookmarks are my lifeblood and they keep me going! Merry Christmas guys, and have a nice day!


	6. More confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Tsukissyma:** I'm mad gay for Kuroo and I've thought about smacking him in the dick more than once 
> 
>  **Hooters:** I'm mad gay for Akaashi and I've been smacked in the dick by him 
> 
>  **Hooters:** I've also had him smack my face with his dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having so much fun updating this
> 
> Edit: I FORGOT TO NAME THIS CHAPTER I'M SO STUPID-

**Rasputin:** So I need advice from you guys 

 **Godziwa:** From this chat, out of the entire population of Japan? 

 **Tsukissyma:** maybe he needs to know how to ruin relationships 

 **Hooters:** Joke's on you Tsukki 

 **KingHairwax:** What's the advice you need? 

 **Rasputin:** How do you cope with being rejected 

 **Rasputin:** :') 

 **Godziwa:** you got rejected..? 

 **Tsukissyma:** That's sad 

 **Akyaashee:** Want me to send you a virtual onigiri?

 **Rasputin:** I'm good  

 **Rasputin:** it won't fill the void in my heart （╹◡╹）

 **KingHairwax:** Did you confess to someone? 

 **Hooters:** I'm assuming it's the guy that got pantsed 

 **Rasputin:** He's a third year in my club they all got pantsed

 **Godziwa:** what did he say?

 **Tsukissyma:** definitely not "you're too small" 

 **Akyaashee:** Are we really going to go there? 

 **Hooters:** ah yes he has an XL dicc to Putin him 

 **KingHairwax:** BOKUTO PLEASE NO 

 **Rasputin:** he told me he can't think about it right now 

 **Godziwa:** Ouch. 

 **Hooters:** that's actually quite heart wrenching 

 **Tsukissyma:** especially considering that he might as well have said that it's unthinkable 

 **KingHairwax:** you put it into words... 

 **KingHairwax:** that's a bad thing 

 **Akyaashee:** well at least he's interested in boys, right? 

 **Rasputin:** yeah but pretty much all of my team are 

 **Godziwa:** well considering that he's a third year, maybe he just needs to focus on exams and schoolwork for now? 

 **Tsukissyma:** either that or he thinks you're a pisstake

 **Hooters:** TSUKKI NO BE NICE! 

 **KingHairwax:** perhaps you should give it a few days, and ask him again? 

 **Rasputin:** yeah... I have a feeling that he's tired of me though 

 **Akyaashee:** that doesn't mean he hates you, though 

 **Akyaashee:** I, for one, have been tired of Bokuto's antics a lot of times, but I've never fallen out of love with him 

 **Godziwa:** I feel tired of Oikawa all the time but he's my best friend and I care about him. 

 **Hooters:** Am I meant to take that as an insult as a compliment..? 

 **Tsukissyma:** I'm mad gay for Kuroo and I've thought about smacking him in the dick more than once 

 **Hooters:** I'm mad gay for Akaashi and I've been smacked in the dick by him 

 **Hooters:** I've also had him smack my face with his dick

 **KingHairwax:** WHY???!!!!!

 **KingHairwax:** Does it.. hurt? 

 **Akyaashee:** Bokuto, just don't say anything. Please. 

 **Rasputin:** I'm feeling a little better, thanks guys ^~^

 **Godziwa:** Just one question.. How did you confess to him, exactly? 

 **Tsukissyma:** Simple. He has idiotic courage 

 **Hooters:** Hey at least he was sober 

 **KingHairwax:** He has a point. 

 **Rasputin:** I hung from the club room window upside down while holding up a piece of paper from my copybook saying "Go out with me please" 

 **Akyaashee:** what 

 **Hooters:** you're joking right..? 

 **Rasputin:** I was dead serious!! 

 **Godziwa:** I think your crush thought that you were joking..? 

 **Rasputin:** he wasn't laughing 

 **Tsukissyma:** does he usually laugh at your jokes? 

 **Rasputin:** Not really.. 

 **Tsukissyma:** precisely. 

 **KingHairwax:** I'm sure your jokes are funny, though! 

 **Hooters:** well since it's established that Tsukishima's taken and Lev + Kindaichi have a crush, the only one whose love life is a complete mystery is Iwaizumi

 **KingHairwax:** well, we should respect that? I mean, I'm sure there's a reason why it's kept a mystery. 

 **Godziwa:** Thank you Kindaichi for being sane. 

 **Akyaashee:** is that how low your standards are..? 

 **Tsukissyma:** Considering that you chose Bokuto, you're not the one to talk. 

 **Hooters:** Hey fuck you 

 **Akyaashee:** listen up Tsucuntshima if I could I would get on the train and castrate you with a fork 

 **KingHairwax:** But wouldn't a fork make the job harder? Especially if it's plastic? 

 **Godziwa:** People don't normally use forks when castrating other people. 

 **Rasputin:** but since Seijoh's love life is locked tight, we might as well talk about something we can all join in on! 

 **Hooters:** well, let's talk about the perks of being gay then 

 **Akyaashee:** you have a chance of playing on the same team as your crush/bf 

 **Rasputin:** you can admire your crush in the changing rooms? 

 **Tsukissyma:** Fuck you all 

 **Godziwa:** you're less likely to divorce? 

 **Tsukissyma:** Are you saying that you're going to marry your high school bf 

 **Hooters:** well I sure am 

 **Akyaashee:** we're a little married 

 **KingHairwax:** uh 

 **Rasputin:** oh yeah Kindaichi you're bi

 **Tsukissyma:** soooo... what are the perks of being bi, Kindaichi? 

 **KingHairwax:** ummmm..... 

 **KingHairwax:** you have a lot of people to choose from? 

 **Hooters:** oh COME ON. That's obvious 

 **Godziwa:** I mean, you have to cut him some slack ig. He didn't even know the word bisexual existed until a few days ago. 

 **Akyaashee:** I see. Well, the less you know, the more you can learn. 

 **Hooters:** if you're bi, you can enjoy all kinds of porn! 

 **Rasputin:** And if you're watching straight porn, you can get turned on by both the male and female

 **Rasputin:** So you're getting a bonus 

 **Godziwa:** But the same logic can get applied to gay porn 

 **Tsukissyma:** no that's different because it's two dicks vs dick and vagina 

 **Akyaashee:** but maybe there's a possibility that your romantic attraction and sexual attraction is different 

 **Godziwa:** And some bi people might not like porn 

 **Godziwa:** Maybe one of the pornstars have a gargoyle tattooed on their ass and it turns you off 

 **Godziwa:** so it honestly depends on the person and not the sexuality 

 **Hooters:** Jesus it's scary when you have a point while talking about sex 

 **KingHairwax:** The fact that this discussion seems so serious almost makes me forget that we're talking about sexual things 

 **Hooters:**  does that mean you cum quicker if you're attracted to both porn stars? 

 **Godziwa:** I think it's ultimately up to their sexual history and erectile function 

 **Akyaashee:** Yes. In my case, I'm not a big fan of gay porn or porn in general but if Bokuto were to send me a lewd video of him that would be different 

 **Tsukissyma:** too much information 

 **Hooters:** there's always that one person that will always get you sporting a raging boner 

 **Godziwa:** unless you do not experience sexual attraction, which is also perfectly fine. 

 **KingHairwax:** I never knew bone has a comparative form 

 **Rasputin:** honestly Iwaizumi is great at delivering the sex talk 

 **Akyaashee:** bone doesn't have a comparative form..? 

 **Tsukissyma:** I think what he means is "bone, boner, bonest.." 

 **KingHairwax:** yeah

 **Hooters:** Boner boner on the wall, who's the bonest of them all? 

 **Akyaashee:** I'm choking on spit and this time it's my own 

 **Rasputin:** P L E A S E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, please leave a comment because it keeps me going.


	7. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Rasputin:** we will visit his grave regularly with beautiful flowers 
> 
>  **Hooters:** guys..? 
> 
>  **Tsukissyma:** I hope you won't try to dig his grave 
> 
>  **KingHairwax:** uh.. Bokuto's here? 
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** sometimes I can still hear him saying my name.. 
> 
>  **Hooters:** AGGGEHAAAJAAHI 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating this on an almost daily schedule..? How???? This chapter was actually inspired by my nightmare from yesterday, which definitely came from reading too many horror stories.

**Akyaashee:** I'm terribly sorry to say this, but Bokuto has passed away 

 **KingHairwax:** Passed away?? Why?! 

 **Godziwa:** Uh... what did he do this time 

 **Tsukissyma:** Did he get inspired by Nekoma's pantsing war 

 **Akyaashee:** Remind me to never let you guys work at a cemetery 

 **Rasputin:** Well, what happened to him? 

 **Akyaashee:** He was nailed in the head by a volleyball 

 **Akyaashee:** he fell to the ground 

 **KingHairwax:** It's like a movie.. 

 **Tsukissyma:** It may be like a movie but it's not an anime until he loses his memory 

 **Akyaashee:** time seemed to slow down 

 **Akyaashee:** I tried to kiss him awake but I guess it doesn't work that way 

 **Godziwa:** is Bokuto in hospital now? 

 **Akyaashee:** yeah 

 **Rasputin:** #RestInPeaceBokuto

 **KingHairwax:** may he always remain in our hearts 

 **Tsukissyma:** and in your dick 

 **Hooters:** GUYS I'M NOT DEAD 

 **KingHairwax:** Oh god Bokuto, are you okay??? 

 **Akyaashee:** it's been a hard thing to deal with, but.. I will get over it. 

 **Godziwa:** and I will be here to help you through. 

 **Rasputin:** we will visit his grave regularly with beautiful flowers 

 **Hooters:** guys..? 

 **Tsukissyma:** I hope you won't try to dig his grave 

 **KingHairwax:** uh.. Bokuto's here? 

 **Akyaashee:** sometimes I can still hear him saying my name.. 

 **Hooters:** AGGGEHAAAJAAHI 

 **Rasputin:** I wish I had talked to him while he was still alive

 **Godziwa:** it's a pity I couldn't play against him. 

 **Hooters:** I AM RIGHT HERE YOU ASSHATS 

 **KingHairwax:** l..... think he's right 

 **Tsukissyma:** His presence will stay with us 

 **Akyaashee:** I will always remember our first date, when he spilled iced cocoa over me 

 **KingHairwax:** I feel like I'm dying from secondhand embarrassment 

 **Godziwa:** We don't need any more corpses 

 **Rasputin:** Aoba Johsai more like Aoba Corpsai 

 **Hooters:** I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH RN 

 **KingHairwax:** maybe we should acknowledge him now.. 

 **Akyaashee:** sorry Bokuto this was because you made me worry 

 **Godziwa:** we didn't mean to be mean 

 **Tsukissyma:** guys we should be nice to him, his body is still recovering from post-death hardening 

 **Hooters:** so my punishment for worrying him is getting worried by him

 **Rasputin:** I mean, it's better than having your dick lopped off by a volleyball. 

 **Tsukissyma:** Sperm would go flying 

 **KingHairwax:** so would that be having sex with the floor? 

 **Godziwa:** no, that would just be disgusting 

 **Akyaashee:** Well, now that Bokuto's a dead boy walking again, how about we watch a movie? 

 **Akyaashee:** I vote Home Alone

 **Godziwa:** I vote Godzilla 

 **Hooters:** I vote The Ring 

 **Rasputin:** I vote Murder on the Orient Express 

 **Tsukissyma:** Jurassic Park 

 **KingHairwax:** I've never seen most of these.. 

 **Godziwa:** you.. you haven't seen Godzilla? 

 **KingHairwax:** my parents are pretty strict with age ratings.. sorry 

 **Rasputin:** well, it's time to catch up on all these good movie stories then! 

 **Akyaashee:** I think we should watch The Ring since it's Bokuto's death day 

 **Hooters:** I'm not dead omfg 

 **Tsukissyma:** Okay I'll post the link so press play once it's half past five 

 **Tsukissyma:** for the recently departed, that's five minutes from now 

 **Hooters:** OH MY GOD JUST QUIT AT IT

 **Akyaashee:** so pack your bags, strap yourself down and grab some snacks 

 **Godziwa:** Kindaichi, you might want to be careful and make sure your parents won't come into your room 

 **KingHairwax:** is it porn..? 

 **Godziwa:** hahaha oh god no 

 **Rasputin:** oh, you could wear some headphones if you're worried about the sound! 

 **Tsukissyma:** definitely. It'll be better movie theatre experience too

 **Tsukissyma:** turn off the lights too 

 **Hooters:** Yeah! 

_Tsukissyma has posted a link._

**Akyaashee:** well okay it was scary as usual.

 **Akyaashee:** the onigiri I ate while watching was quite gross 

 **Akyaashee:** it smelled like a dirty sock 

 **Tsukissyma:** I'm disgusted

 **Hooters:** watching the movie made me a little sleepy.. 

 **Godziwa:** I still prefer Godzilla. 

 **Rasputin:** we goddamn get it it's in your username 

 **KingHairwax:**..............

 **KingHairwax:** WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT HOW SCARY IT WAS?!

 **Tsukissyma:** oh yeah 

 **Tsukissyma:** I kind of forgot Kindaichi's probably never watched a horror movie before 

 **Akyaashee:** I'm surprised he's still conscious 

 **KingHairwax:** I was scared shitless! 

 **Godziwa:** Aw 

 **Rasputin:** I feel just a bit sorry for him 

 **KingHairwax:** I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS 

 **KingHairwax:** I trusted you Iwaizumi! You were my only hope in this doughy chat.. 

 **Hooters:** lol Iwaizumi getting roasted by his kouhai 

 **Godziwa:** I'll make it up to you by lending you my Godzilla DVD 

 **Godziwa:** Sorry Kindaichi 

 **Akyaashee:** I would have expected nothing less from you... ;^^

 **Tsukissyma:** Godzilla is good but dinos are better 

 **Godziwa:** I'll respect your point of view 

 **Godziwa:** however... 

 **Godziwa:** My love for Godzilla is deeper than your love for dinosaurs 

 **Rasputin:** OMG IWAIZUMI THAT'S EVEN WORSE

 **Hooters:** Is this gonna create a rift in the chat??

 **Tsukissyma:** Well Iwaizumi... 

 **Tsukissyma:** you may like Godzilla but GODZILLA HATES YOU. 

 **Godziwa:** That was painful 

 **Hooters:** so was a volleyball to the head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this, please leave a kudo, maybe a comment or two! It really makes my day!


	8. A sealed mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lev wasn't the type to get nervous. 
> 
> Even when he was subbed in for official matches, or when he hadn't studied for a test that he had no idea that existed, he never got the feelings of his heart beating in his throat, or the wriggling sensation deep in his stomach. It just didn't happen to him, and he never expected it to. 
> 
> Which was precisely why he was having a hard time handling his overwhelming nervousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Tis the season to be sappy, falalalala lalalala.   
> I may not update tomorrow because I'll be busy and I need to write my other stories, ahaha.

Lev wasn't the type to get nervous. 

Even when he was subbed in for official matches, or when he hadn't studied for a test that he had no idea that existed, he never got the feelings of his heart beating in his throat, or the wriggling sensation deep in his stomach. It just didn't happen to him, and he never expected it to. 

Which was precisely why he was having a hard time handling his overwhelming nervousness. 

It wasn't like he was moping about the rejection. Looking back, it hadn't been such a good way to ask somebody out. Okay, maybe it was a horrible idea in hindsight. He had thought it was an original and witty, at first. He hadn't realised that it wouldn't be a good idea to do it in front of all of his teammates until it was too late. 

Yaku had turned him down once, and once was enough for his brittle old heart. However, he was willing to risk the pain if it meant that he could have him to himself. The other members of Nekoma volleyball team had clapped him on the back numerous times, out of a mixture of pity and exasperation.

Lev hadn't felt nervous about a lot of things, but that didn't mean that he didn't have any regrets. He screwed up in volleyball a lot, and his receivers were still rather flimsy at best. It wasn't all that bothersome, since he could always try again and again until he got it right. In regards to relationships, it didn't work that way. 

There were no set of rules that could be applied to every romance, only a loose set of guidelines that Lev had trouble wrapping his head around. As he tried to understand Yaku more, he discovered that his upperclassman was quite unpredictable. He could do something to him and depending on how his day went, he would either be happy with him or threaten to shorten him. 

Perhaps pleading Yaku to come and meet him beside the convenience store after practice, long after the others had reached home. He waited around awkwardly as people cast glances to him, immediately noticing his height and silver hair which wasn't often seen in Japan. He normally didn't mind, and even basked in the attention, but all of a sudden it felt like everyone might know what he's doing. For once, he understood how Kenma must have felt on a daily basis. 

"Oi, Lev. I'm here," Yaku's voice cut off his train of thought. He had expected him to ignore his request and head straight home. After all, Yaku was sharp enough to understand that Lev was going to talk about his confession, which would be some degree of awkward. But he had taken the time to stop by to hear whatever he was going to say. Maybe he had a chance. 

"Yaku-san! Uh, I can't believe you actually came." 

Yaku rolled his eyes and shrugged, but he was smiling. Lev found his heart jumping from the unexpected enthusiasm coming from Yaku. "What, did you think I was going to leave you hanging? Well, I was a bit worried if you were going to moonwalk for all to see." 

Lev burst into laughter, half from nervousness and half from the fact that Yaku would have been right if it weren't for the fact that he was just so head over heels for him. It reminded him of why he had fallen for him in the first place. The smiles, the little jokes and the unwavering sturdiness in him were what made Lev drawn to him. 

"Considering how badly I fucked up my first confession, I was thinking you were tired of me." Lev said without thinking. The way he spoke made it sound like he was going to make more than one confession, which would have been funny if it weren't true. 

To his surprise, his offhanded comment had left Yaku with a shocked expression. "Tired of you? God, no. It's just that your confession was pretty crazy, and.. I had no idea how to respond." So far, Yaku hadn't told him that he had no chance, which was good. Lev couldn't do anything but nod, his throats being choked up from the many emotions whirling in his chest. 

"I'll make it up to you." Lev announced awkwardly. "I'll make a better confession this time," he swallowed, preparing his speech that he had revised sitting on his bed countless times. He walked over behind a bush, out of plain sight, with Yaku following behind. 

Yaku stared at him with interested eyes. He had a faint red tint on his cheek, but other than that, he refused to show any sign that he was liking Lev's bold announcement very much. "Go on," his mouth remained open, with no words coming out. 

"I know a few days ago I pulled a weird stunt, but I was dead serious about asking you out. Uhm.. I was wondering if you would be interested in dating me?" Lev had skipped over many points in his planned confession, and was lost for words after blurting out the most important bits. 

Before Yaku could even accept or reject the confession, Lev carried on with sheer bravery and willpower. All the noise around him- the crowds of people going about their business and even the rustling of leaves- were gone. 

"I fell in love with you a few months ago, Yaku-san. When I see your back defending our team, it makes me feel safe and all warm inside. I love your receives, your supportiveness, and.." 

Lev was stopped mid-sappy sentence by Yaku, who grabbed his shoulders with surprising smoothness and pulled him down, kissing him softly on the lips. There was barely any time for Lev to prepare, but when he realised what had happened, he took it all in at once. The gentleness of Yaku's lips, his warmth radiating to him and the familiar scent that left his heart thudding. 

"You're not the only hopeless romantic here," Yaku muttered, his ears red to the tips. Lev felt like his whole face was going up in flames from what he had just experienced. He felt like he was being filled to the brim with rapture. 

It happened all too quickly for Lev, and his excitement had caused Yaku to get quite literally swept off his feet, when Lev scooped him up in his arms and hugged him tight, whirling around in a circle before putting him down. He expected him to get a little pissd, at least, but he wasn't met with any lecture. 

"Are you not going to kick me?" 

"You did it while expecting that? I have to say, you've got some guts to do that outside. I'm glad nobody randomly found us here." 

Lev couldn't have cared less about onlookers right then. He grinned widely, tapping his slightly wet lips. "You sealed my fate when you sealed my mouth," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of it? :0 I've never written LevYaku before so I hope you enjoyed it! Leave a comment down below!


	9. Welcome to the club!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hooters:** Kindaichi you're too sweet for your own good 
> 
>  **Hooters:** I'd date you if I were single and Akaashi didn't exist
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** Bokuto if you suggest something like that again I will whip you 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to the panto today and oh god it was amazing. I screamed when What About Us stared playing :) 
> 
> Anyway, here's another update despite the fact that I should be doing a million and other things.

**Rasputin:** I AM OFFICIALLY TAKEN!!! 

 **Hooters:**  Lol finally? 

 **Hooters:** Nah jk congrats Lev! How did you confess this time? 

 **Tsukissyma:** did he moonwalk wrapped in ribbons 

 **Rasputin:** Nope! I just told him how I felt with complete honesty 

 **Akyaashee:** That's actually a good idea coming from you for once 

 **KingHairwax:** that's so sweet! 

 **Hooters:** lol if anyone did that to Kindaichi he would probably melt into a pile of goo 

 **Godziwa:** Now now.. 

 **KingHairwax:** tbh that's true.. 

 **Akyaashee:** no shame in that 

 **Tsukissyma:** speaking of confessions, how did you guys get together, Bokuto and Akaashi? 

 **Hooters:** well the story goes like so: 

 **Godziwa:** oh here it comes 

 **Hooters:** Akaashi was frustrated with me one day and yells "That's it, I'm breaking up with you!" 

 **Hooters:** and I was like "DON'T LEAVE ME" but I didn't realise that we were never dating in the first place 

 **KingHairwax:** ohMYGOD 

 **Hooters:** And I said "Wait were we dating" and Akaashi was like "well, we are now, aren't we?" 

 **Rasputin:** SMOOTH AS FUCK 

 **Akyaashee:** ;) 

 **Tsukissyma:** Akaashi using the winky face was something I definitely didn't need to see

 **Godziwa:** and did that make you happy? 

 **Hooters:** I burst into tears because I was so happy and our teammates just rolled their eyes

 **Akyaashee:** I wouldn't recommend this confession method though 

 **Rasputin:** if I were to be the one being confessed, I would love it if someone did something fancy, like a flash mob 

 **Hooters:** what, with everyone carrying string beans? 

 **Rasputin:** how about you, Kindaichi? 

 **Tsukissyma:** don't be shy :) 

 **Akyaashee:** Your smiley faces are just creepy 

 **KingHairwax:** umm... if I had to choose, maybe they would confess to me in front of people really loudly? I want people around me to be surprised 

 **KingHairwax:** of course, I don't mind at all if they confess in any other way! I'd be happy regardless! 

 **Godziwa:** I don't have a preference

 **Godziwa:** isn't it good enough that they decided to confess in the first place? 

 **Tsukissyma:** so you'd be the one confessing? 

 **Rasputin:** OOOooooOOoOooO ;)))))

 **Godziwa:** Sure, why not? 

 **Hooters:** honestly if it weren't for the fact that I love Akaashi with all my heart and soul I would be falling for you 

 **Akyaashee:** such bravery 

 **Tsukissyma:** who's the lucky one? 

 **Godziwa:** I can't tell you that- 

 **Rasputin:** so there IS a lucky one after all... 

 **KingHairwax:** We shouldn't make him say it if he doesn't want to, I guess? 

 **KingHairwax:** I say we should support his decisions and wish him luck 

 **Hooters:** you're probably the nicest one out of all of us, but 

 **Hooters:** the fact that you're so nice to Iwaizumi makes me thinkkkkk 

 **Akyaashee:** Bokuto please 

 **Hooters:** is there something between you two...?? 

 **Tsukissyma:** eh tbh Seijoh are so tight-knit I wouldn't be surprised if anyone started dating out of the blue 

 **KingHairwax:** that's not true 

 **KingHairwax:** I don't think I'd be in their league lol 

 **Rasputin:** wdym? 

 **KingHairwax:** I don't think anyone would think of dating me 

 **Hooters:** Kindaichi you're too sweet for your own good 

 **Hooters:** I'd date you if I were single and Akaashi didn't exist

 **Akyaashee:** Bokuto if you suggest something like that again I will whip you 

 **Akyaashee:** and yes, that was meant to sound kinky 

 **Godziwa:** Bokuto is right though 

 **Tsukissyma:** does that mean you'd date him 

 **KingHairwax:** nowhd aybthat:)9-'l€{> 

 **Rasputin:** I don't have the slightest idea what you're saying 

 **Rasputin:** oop I think he passed out he's offline all of a sudden 

 **Godziwa:** Sure why not 

 **Akyaashee:** Iwaizumi oh my god 

 **Tsukissyma:** you do realise what you just said, right? 

 **Godziwa:** Yeah? 

 **Hooters:** aren't you worried about getting rejected? 

 **Godziwa:** why? If he doesn't want to date me, that's his choice and I respect that 

 **Hooters:** You'd honestly be such a good boyfriend though 

 **Akyaashee:** that's it Bokuto my house at seven tomorrow 

 **Hooters:** It takes a lot for me to even think of being in a different relationship 

 **Akyaashee:** you said that just so I'd be extra rough tomorrow didn't you? 

 **Rasputin:** GO GET A FUCKING ROOM 

 **Tsukissyma:** well Akaashi's room would literally be a "fucking room" tomorrow 

 **Hooters:** ;) 

 **Hooters:** Tsukki knows what's up 

 **Godziwa:** Pretty sure he doesn't want to know 

 **Akyaashee:** Aren't you concerned that it's going to be awkward if Kindaichi rejects you 

 **Godziwa:** it won't be if I leave the chat 

 **Rasputin:** since Kindaichi's probably collapsed while frothing at the mouth rn you'd have to face him tomorrow... 

 **Tsukissyma:** knowing Iwaizumi, he's probably glad 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna write an actual chapter for the confession but I had something else in mind, so this one happened on text~ 
> 
> Will the ship start sailing? *dramatic sound effect*


	10. Ramen and Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Godziwa:** Ramen is a good date honestly 
> 
>  **Rasputin:** Yaku is a good date honestly 
> 
>  **KingHairwax:** Because of Lev, it makes it seem like Iwaizumi is dating ramen 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! TALK IWAKIN TO ME HOLY MOTHER THEY'RE SO CUTE

**Godziwa:** Good news 

 **Hooters:** Kindaichi accepted your confession? 

 **Godziwa:** Yep 

 **Akyaashee:** You seem so indifferent 

 **KingHairwax:** O//////O 

 **Godziwa:** Kindaichi accepted my confession and I'm so happy! I love him with all my heart and soul! 

 **Godziwa:** Is this better 

 **Tsukissyma:** Sweet Asahi 

 **Rasputin:** Congrats Kindaichi! How did it all happen?? 

 **Tsukissyma:** I'm guessing he hasn't kissed you considering that you're still able to chat 

 **KingHairwax:** Is it okay if I say it? 

 **Hooters:** Say it you happy little shallot 

 **Akyaashee:** It has to be better than Lev's attempt 

 **Rasputin:** EXCUSE 

 **KingHairwax:** so it was after practice and everyone was in the club room 

 **Akyaashee:** so far so good 

 **Godziwa:** and I told everyone that I had an announcement to make 

 **Hooters:** and?? And?? 

 **KingHairwax:** He grabbed a loudspeaker and asked me to go out 

 **Hooters:** Sounds like something he would do 

 **KingHairwax:** I couldn't possibly say no 

 **Tsukissyma:** My teeth are rotting 

 **Rasputin:** Was there an uproar in the club room?? 

 **Godziwa:** Well Oikawa and Hanamaki threw us a party and everyone clapped 

 **Akyaashee:** Glad to know that your teammates were supportive 

 **Hooters:** Where did you guys have the party?? 

 **KingHairwax:** Our usual ramen shop! It was a lot of fun ^_^

 **Tsukissyma:** You guys are both like the cheapest dates lmao 

 **Hooters:** Are you jealous because you can't get one 

 **Tsukissyma:** For your information, Kuroo and I went on a date 

 **Akyaashee:** Oh really now? 

 **Godziwa:** Ramen is a good date honestly 

 **Rasputin:** Yaku is a good date honestly 

 **KingHairwax:** Because of Lev, it makes it seem like Iwaizumi is dating ramen 

 **Godziwa:** Don't worry, you're my date 

 **Tsukissyma:** if this gets any more sappy we'd be looking inside a tree bark 

 **Hooters:** Did any of you guys have a party thrown when you got your boyfriends? 

 **Tsukissyma:** The only party I got was a collection of the loudest "what the fuck"s 

 **Akyaashee:** well you threw yourself a pity party right before you properly confessed 

 **KingHairwax:** OUCH

 **KingHairwax:** it all happened because of a party in the first place though, right..? 

 **Rasputin:** nobody even batted an eye when I told my team I started dating Yaku 

 **Godziwa:** I wonder why I'm not even surprised.. 

 **KingHairwax:** We also had movie night and pizza after the party was over 

 **Hooters:** PIZZA??? 

 **Akyaashee:** Was there pineapple on it 

 **KingHairwax:** Oh, yeah 

 **Tsukissyma:** What the fuck 

 **Rasputin:** Pineapple.. on pizza? 

 **Rasputin:** That's wild 

 **Godziwa:** What do you mean?? Pineapple on pizza is delicious! 

 **KingHairwax:** Is there something wrong with it?? 

 **Akyaashee:** It's one of those topics that might start WW3 

 **Hooters:** I stand with POP 

 **Akyaashee:** I hated POP until I started dating Bokuto 

 **Tsukissyma:** WHAT THE FUCK AKAASHI BOKUTO IS BRAINWASHING YOU 

 **Akyaashee:** No it just means our love is stronger than the POP debate 

 **Godziwa:** I personally like it.. 

 **KingHairwax:** So.. why does it matter? It's not like a crime, right? 

 **Tsukissyma:** POP is a crime against humanity 

 **Hooters:** Would that make me and Akaashi Romeo and Juliet 

 **KingHairwax:** No... 

 **KingHairwax:** More like Bonnie and Clyde 

 **Godziwa:** Then what would Kindaichi and I be..? 

 **Tsukissyma:** YOU'RE TEARING THIS CHAT APART 

 **Rasputin:** I get that POP is controversial, but you should consider apple slices on pizza! 

 **Hooters:** What 

 **Akyaashee:** The 

 **KingHairwax:** Flying 

 **Godziwa:** Fuckity 

 **Tsukissyma:** Fuck 

 **Rasputin:** What? So you guys are shaming me now?? 

 **Rasputin:** You need to appreciate apples on pizza 

 **KingHairwax:** But the juices on the apple would overflow onto the pizza.. 

 **Godziwa:** Even if we were to cook it, it would shrivel up like Bokuto during his emo mode 

 **Akyaashee:** Eh true 

 **Hooters:** Ewewewewe ;( 

 **KingHairwax:** are you disgusted or crying 

 **Tsukissyma:** for fucks sake stop describing it IMGONNAPUKE 

 **Rasputin:** If you puke clean it up 

 **Tsukissyma:** You know what 

 **Tsukissyma:** I'm going to cast the POP debate aside 

 **Tsukissyma:** We need to defeat the awful apple on pizza together 

 **Akyaashee:** Tbh even I have limits 

 **Hooters:** but how do we tackle this issue 

 **Rasputin:** fuck you all my apple on pizza is a God-given right 

 **KingHairwax:** You're religious? 

 **Rasputin:** Eh.. Actually nah 

 **Godziwa:** This is why we can't have nice things 

 **Godziwa:** God has abandoned this chat long ago but even Satan won't address this 

 **Akyaashee:** Where's Tsukishima 

 **Tsukissyma:** IM GOING TO RUN INTO THE NEARBY CHURCH AND ASK FOR HELP 

 **Hooters:** Oh god Tsukishima 

 **KingHairwax:** What do we do?!

 **Godziwa:** I'm gonna run down and stop him 

 **Rasputin:** Run run Rudolph 

 **Akyaashee:** you do realise you started this whole thing, right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of the POP debate? Would you join Tsukishima? Comment if you have an opinion!


	11. The Wrath of Akaashi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Akyaashee:** So I visit Bokuto's classroom and they're playing truth or dare 
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** and before you ask, there's no kissing or hugging involved 
> 
>  **Tsukissyma:** What did he actually do? 
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** Well THE FUCKING IDIOT ACCEPTED A DARE TO PLAY THE KNIFE GAME SONG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys! Sorry I couldn't get this up earlier, I fell asleep before I finished this yesterday and the draft reloaded about twice. ;^^

**Rasputin:** So.. when we drink orange juice, is that liquefied orange uterus 

 **Godziwa:** Well, you would be drinking orange semen as well?? 

 **KingHairwax:** Oranges... have semen? 

 **Tsukissyma:** Go up to Hinata from my team and ask him for his "shrimpy" if you want to find out 

 **Akyaashee:** HHSGBABABBBAIXWHSN GUYS 

 **Rasputin:** Who is this 

 **KingHairwax:** Did your phone just glitch, Akaashi..? 

 **Akyaashee:** I'M SO FUCKING MAD I'M TRYING NOT TO PUNCH A WALL 

 **Godziwa:** take a deep breath... another. 

 **Akyaashee:** BUT I WON'T BECAUSE I'M A SETTER AND MY HANDS ARE DAMN IMPORTANT 

 **Tsukissyma:** did Bokuto do something 

 **Rasputin:** I'm actually terrified 

 **KingHairwax:** Do you want to talk about it...? 

 **Akyaashee:** WELL OF FUCKING COURSE I DO SO LISTEN 

 **Godziwa:** I'm listening. 

 **Akyaashee:** So I visit Bokuto's classroom and they're playing truth or dare 

 **Akyaashee:** and before you ask, there's no kissing or hugging involved 

 **Tsukissyma:** What did he actually do? 

 **Akyaashee:** Well THE FUCKING IDIOT ACCEPTED A DARE TO PLAY THE KNIFE GAME SONG

 **Rasputin:** Oh god this isn't going to end well... 

 **Godziwa:** But what if he hurts himself? Wouldn't it prevent him from spiking? 

 **Akyaashee:**  EXACT FUCKING LY 

 **KingHairwax:** Yikes 

 **KingHairwax:** Are his fingers all right? 

 **Rasputin:** Are they all intact 

 **Hooters:** I'm fine 

 **Tsukissyma:** you won't be soon 

 **KingHairwax:** Akaashi is going to kill you... 

 **Godziwa:** make that Iwaizumi and Akaashi 

 **Hooters:** oh man... 

 **Tsukissyma:** I would hate to be you right now

 **Akyaashee:** Bokuto, I honestly don't believe you 

 **Akyaashee:** injuring your right hand is bad enough but this would have been prevented if you didn't choose to act like such a foolish dick 

 **Godziwa:** you're the ace of the team!  How could you do such a stupid thing to yourself?  You made everyone worry and caused a lot of trouble. 

 **Hooters:** sorry... 

 **Hooters:** I regret not listening to you guys 

 **Akyaashee:** You're certainly going to regret it tomorrow 

 **Tsukissyma:** No more D for you 

 **Akyaashee:** SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STAY OUT OF THIS. 

 **KingHairwax:**....

 **Rasputin:** I feel like Dudley witnessing his dad going mad because of the letters from Hogwarts 

 **KingHairwax:** Who's Dudley...? 

 **Rasputin:** Dude have you never watched Harry Potter? 

 **Hooters:** The one with black-haired Tsukki 

 **Akyaashee:** I. Am. Not. Done. With. You. 

 **Hooters:** sorry 

 **Godziwa:** Bokuto, I'm sure you've learned your lessons now. One, never do such a selfish thing again. Two, never fuck around with Akaashi. 

 **Godziwa:** Even I felt like Dudley watching Uncle Vernon 

 **Rasputin:** "Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" 

 **KingHairwax:** Daddy?? Is that referring to Akaashi or Uncle Vernon? 

 **Tsukissyma:** Whichever is less terrifying to see naked 

 **Akyaashee:** NOBODY WILL HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY NAKED BODY SO YOU CAN CAN YOUR FRUIT. 

 **Tsukissyma:** okay okay sorry 

 **Godziwa:** he actually shut Tsukishima up 

 **Hooters:** I am terrified 

 **KingHairwax:** Is this going to tear apart this chat? Is this going to be the end..? 

 **Godziwa:** No 

 **Godziwa:** We'll fix things up, don't worry 

 **Rasputin:** It must be nice to have a supportive boyfriend in the chat 

 **Hooters:** oh the irony hurts 

 **Akyaashee:** well Bokuto 

 **Akyaashee:** I've tried to be a supportive boyfriend, haven't I? 

 **Hooters:** yes Akaashi 

 **Akyaashee:** And who's the one who wasted my efforts? 

 **Hooters:** I did 

 **KingHairwax:** this is painful.. 

 **Akyaashee:** I apologise if anyone is uncomfortable 

 **Akyaashee:** I'll continue this chat elsewhere. 

 **Tsukissyma:** rest in pieces Bokuto 

 **Hooters:** you're not helping 

 **Tsukissyma:** I'm not trying to 

 **Rasputin:** ouch 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it, please leave a Kudo or a comment, it will help the author, who is currently having a headache due to watching a gory horror clip, a lot.


	12. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto had gotten an earful as soon as he had told the coach what had happened, and Akaashi had given him lectures almost every day. On top of that, Akaashi refused to return his messages on the phone, simply reading them and turning his phone off straight after. It was a childish move, but it worked on Bokuto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh I'm so sorry this is so short! I hope you enjoy my little BokuAka chapter, I love this pairing so much and I've never actually written for them aaaaaah

It had been a week since Bokuto's accident. Akaashi hated to call it that. It was hardly an accident that couldn't have been prevented. If only Bokuto hadn't accepted that stupid dare to show off, he would have been tossing to him by now. Every moment of practice was important, especially because it was Bokuto's last year at Fukurodani High.

Bokuto had gotten an earful as soon as he had told the coach what had happened, and Akaashi had given him lectures almost every day. On top of that, Akaashi refused to return his messages on the phone, simply reading them and turning his phone off straight after. It was a childish move, but it worked on Bokuto.

It became hard to ignore Bokuto's pleading stare after a while. The ace had given up on pestering him and chose to wait for him to forgive him and talk to him again. Akaashi had full control of the situation, but it didn't satisfy him. He wanted Bokuto to suffer the consequences of his actions, just a little more.

To tell the truth, Akaashi wasn't so much angry about the fact that Bokuto had to rest his hands for a while before he could play volleyball again. He could still play, thankfully. What Akaashi was very upset about, however, was the fact that Bokuto had worried him to the point where Akaashi was about to cry. It meant that Bokuto hadn't thought anything out, which wasn't out of the blue, but frustrated him nonetheless.

Akaashi spent the evening practice tossing to everyone else on the team, going up to teammates he didn't usually talk to and inviting them over. Bokuto was commanded to run laps and train his seemingly endless stamina, but it was obvious that it wasn't what he wanted to do. His expression remained frustrated all the time.

"Bokuto-san, we need to talk." Akaashi waited until everyone else in the club room had left to go home, while Bokuto sat there fidgeting with his water bottle, as predicted. The captain lifted his head with a fearful look, as if Akaashi had already told him that he was going to break up.

Akaashi sighed, not finding the energy to change his expression. "You know why I'm mad at you?" He could detect every little change in Bokuto's face as he spoke. Bokuto lifted his head, and his huge golden eyes were packed with nervousness.

"Because I did something really stupid, and now I can't spike?"

The tone of voice Bokuto used pained Akaashi, but he shook his head. "No, it's not that. Listen to me, Kou." Bokuto swallowed at the mention of his name, bracing himself for Akaashi to give him a piece of his mind. "When you were bleeding and yelling like a dumbass, I was worried. For a second, I thought it was more serious."

"I know, I'm sorry," Bokuto's vocabulary had gotten even smaller, and he seemed to shrivel up under Akaashi's gaze. He stared down at the ground again.

Akaashi took Bokuto's injured hand into his own, taking a close look at the bandages that wrapped around firmly. "I know you are. And the truth is, I should have forgiven you long ago. I was just being stubborn, because I was mad at you for doing something to frighten me." His voice was softer now, and Bokuto became visibly less nervous.

"I just want to apologise to you too. I should have been there for you," Akaashi had no time to register the embarrassment that came with admitting his true reasons of his bitterness, because Bokuto had grabbed him, while sobbing. It had happened before, and it had caused both of them to topple over.

Bokuto buried his face into Akaashi's uniform, which soon became so wet that Akaashi could feel it sticking to his skin. "It's okay. You just focus on getting your hand better, and we can be an amazing duo again." Akaashi pushed his fingers into Bokuto's spiky hair and ran them through, a trick he had picked up to calm Bokuto when he was feeling on edge. The captain flopped limply into his touch, exhaling in comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 2018 and I've decided to spread positive shit instead of negativity, so love you all and I hope you have a great day! Please leave a kudo or a comment to make the author happy (*^▽^*)


	13. There's a first time for everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Tsukissyma:** What, is Akaashi going to kiss it better? 
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** hey thanks for the idea 
> 
>  **Rasputin:** ya need a hand there Bokuto? 
> 
>  **Godziwa:** hey even if your right hand is busted up you still have one LEFT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just saw The Red Shoes in the theatre and oh my god it was amazing. This chapter is dedicated to everyone giving Kindaichi sex ed.

**Hooters:** Akaashi forgave me! ^v^ 

 **Godziwa:** I hope you didn't get on your knees and beg.. 

 **Akyaashee:** no, thankfully. 

 **Tsukissyma:** ew we don't want any of that talk 

 **Rasputin:** shut up your dirty minded freak 

 **Rasputin:** you won't get any of that Kuroo dick 

 **KingHairwax:** I'm glad you guys made up, though! 

 **Godziwa:** is your hand healing well? Is it okay? 

 **Hooters:** Yep, it might leave a scar but that's okay! 

 **Tsukissyma:** What, is Akaashi going to kiss it better? 

 **Akyaashee:** hey thanks for the idea 

 **Rasputin:** ya need a hand there Bokuto? 

 **Godziwa:** hey even if your right hand is busted up you still have one LEFT

 **Hooters:** STOP NOW YOU PEOPLE

 **Tsukissyma:** nice.. nuffs.. knife 

 **KingHairwax:** is that Kageyama? 

 **Tsukissyma:** oh yeah I forgot you used to be in the same team as him 

 **Rasputin:** ooooooh really? How was he? 

 **KingHairwax:** um 

 **KingHairwax:** do you want to hear about my first time instead? 

 **Hooters:** normally I'd never let you divert the conversation but SERIOUSLY OMG FIRST TIME?!?! 

 **Akyaashee:** Even Bokuto and I weren't that quick 

 **Tsukissyma:** I've only gone on two dates with Kuroo 

 **Godziwa:** lol calm down you guys

 **Rasputin:** oh no we won't Iwaizumi you nasty 

 **KingHairwax:** Iwaizumi wasn't nasty he was gentle 

 **Rasputin:** holy fuck Kindaichi chill 

 **Akyaashee:** I have no words to convey my astonishment 

 **Hooters:** tell me more tell me more 

 **Tsukissyma:** Where did it happen..? 

 **Godziwa:** this is gonna be a wild ride so buckle up and listen motherfuckers 

 **Rasputin:** so... is that what you said to Kindaichi? 

 **Godziwa:** so it happened behind the school building during lunchtime 

 **Akyaashee:** at... school? 

 **Hooters:** man cmon Akaashi it's not as bad as a toilet cubicle 

 **KingHairwax:** uh 

 **KingHairwax:** toilet cubicle..? 

 **Tsukissyma:** Stop being gross 

 **Akyaashee:** are you going to tell us the details or..? 

 **KingHairwax:** idk if Iwaizumi would be comfortable sharing the details 

 **Godziwa:** I don't mind, but don't force yourself 

 **Rasputin:** man I never knew Iwaizumi had it in him to be this soft 

 **Godziwa:** I'm sorry but have you ever taken a look at Akaashi???? 

 **Hooters:** Eh I have to admit that you have a point. 

 **Akyaashee:** I guess we all have that one person we care about, right? 

 **Tsukissyma:** No I care about myself and like about 7 others 

 **KingHairwax:** you didn't have to make it so realistic.

 **KingHairwax:** but anyway, Iwaizumi and I shared our first time today 

 **Hooters:** Kindaichi, wasn't it painful? 

 **Hooters:** I mean, even for me I almost screamed 

 **Rasputin:** OKAY LET'S END THAT THERE 

 **Godziwa:** Painful..? Was I being too rough? 

 **KingHairwax:** It didn't hurt...? 

 **Akyaashee:** Wow okay maybe you want to try being tied up then? 

 **Tsukissyma:** what sort of shit do they put you through in Seijoh..? 

 **Godziwa:** Hanamaki, Oikawa, Matsukawa and Kyoutani to name a few 

 **Hooters:** but seriously Kindaichi didn't it hurt when he, you know.. put it in? 

 **KingHairwax:** put what in

 **Rasputin:** okay what did you do to him Iwaizumi 

 **Akyaashee:** Maybe he lost his memory from the pain 

 **KingHairwax:** it's nothing! 

 **Hooters:** was that extreme passive bragging 

 **Tsukissyma:** uh.. maybe you should get that prostate checked out Kindaichi 

 **Godziwa:** why would be need to do that? 

 **KingHairwax:** what do prostates have anything to do with kissing? 

 **Akyaashee:**....what? 

 **Rasputin:** I though you guys fucked

 **Hooters:** Well I certainly feel fucked now 

 **Godziwa:** we never said that??? Wtf guys 

 **Tsukissyma:** You said that you did it for the first time! 

 **KingHairwax:** yeah, we kissed for the first time

 **Godziwa:** you guys seriously thought I was that barbaric? 

 **Hooters:** I love how you guys automatically assume that Iwaizumi tops 

 **Rasputin:** it sounds a lot more convincing when it comes from you 

 **KingHairwax:** tops? Which one? 

 **Akyaashee:** okay I'm gonna just save a lot of time by asking this

 **Akyaashee:** do you know how gay sex works? 

 **KingHairwax:** WAIT YOU GUYS WERE TALKING ABOUT SEX?!

 **Tsukissyma:** no idiot we were talking about Christmas trees OBVIOUSLY 

 **Rasputin:** be nice before Kuroo penetrates your one horse open sleigh 

 **Tsukissyma:** hey fuck off I can top if I want to 

 **Hooters:** well Kindaichi, you do know that gay people can have sex using their asshole, right? 

 **Godziwa:** guys he might not be ready for all this take it easy 

 **Akyaashee:** what, are you going to teach him by yourself? 

 **KingHairwax:** um...... how does using your ass work..? 

 **Rasputin:** Penis. Insert. Asshole. 

 **Hooters:** well there you have it, I guess? 

 **Godziwa:** the person who puts their dick in is described as the "top" and the receiving end is called "bottom" by most people 

 **Tsukissyma:** inside the ass there is a sort of.. pleasure receptor? Called the prostate 

 **KingHairwax:** OH WOW OKAY 

 **KingHairwax:** I THINK I UNDERSTAND 

 **KingHairwax:** IM FREAKING OUT BUT OKAY 

 **Akyaashee:** chill it's gonna be fine 

 **Rasputin:** maybe overloading him with so much information was a bad idea 

 **KingHairwax:** uh.. I guess it's natural, right? 

 **Godziwa:** Kindaichi, some people dislike sex and there's nothing wrong with that 

 **Hooters:** and some people looooove it 

 **Tsukissyma:** and I'm sure Iwaizumi will respect your decision 

 **Akyaashee:** since when were you so nice 

 **Tsukissyma:** I'm not nice I just have a higher tolerance for some people 

 **Rasputin:** how well do you tolerate me? 

 **Tsukissyma:** bout as much as the stringy bit on a banana 

 **Godziwa:** Oh, btw Kindaichi I won't do anything you don't want me to, but I hope we can still have these conversations a few years later 

 **Hooters:** THAT WAS JUST SO SMOOTH I CANT EVEN 

 **Akyaashee:** not as smooth as your ass 

 **KingHairwax:** A noise that sounds like a dying mongoose just came out of my mouth 

 **KingHairwax:** Is this the real life 

 **Rasputin:** idk, but you'll always be Iwaizumi's Queen 

 **Tsukissyma:** LEV YOU LISTEN TO QUEEN??!! 

 **Rasputin:** Heck yeah I do! 

 **Godziwa:** I guess today's chat was actually pretty tame 

 **Hooters:** Tame like yo dick 

 **Godziwa:** SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I BREAK YOU SO HARD THAT BOB THE BUILDER WON'T BE ABLE TO FIX YOU 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment what you think please! And also have a good day!


	14. How not to Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! I hope you like this chapter! Dating horror stories were fun to write.

**Tsukissyma:** Kuroo took me out on a date 

 **Akyaashee:** dude nice new information. It's not like it happened twice before 

 **Tsukissyma:** no I have a problem 

 **KingHairwax:** did the date go wrong..? 

 **Hooters:** oh god Kuroo what did he do 

 **Tsukissyma:** you guys are quick to catch on 

 **Godziwa:** do you need help? 

 **Tsukissyma:** so long story short Kuroo got his wallet stolen 

 **Akyaashee:** his wallet..? 

 **Hooters:** yeah, you know, the thing you put your money in 

 **KingHairwax:** I'm pretty sure he knows what wallet means 

 **Rasputin:** Uh guys what does the wallet look like..? 

 **Tsukissyma:** he said there's a mackerel keychain on it 

 **Godziwa:** mackerel keychains existed?? 

 **Rasputin:** I found something similar on the ground 

_Rasputin sent a photo._

**Akyaashee:** go check with Kuroo to confirm 

 **Hooters:** But you can do plenty of stuff without a wallet! 

 **Tsukissyma:** is standing in front of a till awkwardly while your boyfriend fumbles at his bag one of them?? 

 **KingHairwax:** you guys didn't pay for the meal..? 

 **Godziwa:** more importantly, didn't you have a wallet too, Tsukishima? 

 **Rasputin:** Kuroo told me that it was his 

 **Tsukissyma:** well that's a relief. But the thing is, we were going to both pitch in to go to a dinosaur museum 

 **Godziwa:** a dinosaur museum for a date? That's wild 

 **Hooters:** well Tsukki has a dino obsession 

 **Tsukissyma:** since I didn't have much money on me, after we paid for the food we couldn't go there

 **Akyaashee:** rumour has it that Tsukishima sleeps with a dino plush 

 **KingHairwax:** and.. what did you do instead? 

 **Hooters:** I heard his name was Tortoise 

 **Tsukissyma:** DO YOU GUYS MIND. AND IT'S NOT TORTOISE IT'S TERRA 

 **Rasputin:** Terra? That's a strange name 

 **Godziwa:** it's Latin for earth or some shit 

 **Akyaashee:** but that would make the dinosaur a.. Terranosaurus Rex? 

 **Hooters:** BFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTHAHAHAHA

 **Rasputin:** couldn't you have named him Rexy or something 

 **Tsukissyma:** so we just went to the gymnasium and played volleyball 

 **Tsukissyma:** afterwards he insisted I don't buy him anything at the department store so we went around eating food samples 

 **KingHairwax:** Uhhhhhhh that's unfortunate 

 **Rasputin:** The only dates I've had with Yaku is at Hamabe Sushi 

 **KingHairwax:** Hamabe Sushi?! 

 **Godziwa:** but.... isn't that place expensive as hell? 

 **Rasputin:** well my dad is one of the co-founders of the company so

 **Akyaashee:** Jesus fuck 

 **Hooters:** so your dad is like.. loaded? 

 **Tsukissyma:** you're really nailing the passive bragging thing 

 **Rasputin:** I'm sure you've seen his face in the ad lol 

 **KingHairwax:** OH. THAT AD? 

 **KingHairwax:** "Hamabe sushi is the place to be, if you want to be blown off your feet!" 

 **Godziwa:** and then the man makes a muscle with his arms and his clothes rip off 

 **Akyaashee:** Does Seijoh have some obsession with that ad? 

 **Godziwa:** well I had to reenact it at the culture festival 

 **Godziwa:** probably the reason why I had the nickname "Goriwa" for three months 

 **Tsukissyma:** Goriwa? Is that like a Gorilla thing? 

 **Hooters:** but wait... the guy with the muscles in the ad... is that your dad? 

 **Rasputin:** embarrassingly, yes 

 **Hooters:** I thought your dad was Russian? 

 **Rasputin:** nah it's my mom's side 

 **KingHairwax:** so.. is it okay if we tag along to that sushi place with you someday? 

 **Rasputin:** sure thing! 

 **Godziwa:** So, Akaashi, where did you go for your first date with Bokuto? 

 **Akyaashee:** Bokuto took me to a cafe and spilled his drink on me 

 **Hooters:** I SAID I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT

 **Tsukissyma:** What's with this chat and bad first dates? 

 **Akyaashee:** it was far from bad in the end. After all, I went on a second date with him. 

 **KingHairwax:** Why are you saying things about bad first dates now I'm nervous 

 **Rasputin:** dude it's okay my first date with Yaku was pretty awesome 

 **Rasputin:** I mean, Yaku looked a bit nervous and almost knocked over a cup of boiling hot tea but that was okay 

 **Godziwa:** well, since our first date won't be at a restaurant, it seriously narrows down the options for messing up 

 **KingHairwax:** I mean, it's hard for me to go out on dates 

 **KingHairwax:** however! 

 **KingHairwax:** My parents won't be home this weekend ^o^ 

 **Hooters:** do your parents know that you have a boyfriend? 

 **KingHairwax:** yeah, they don't like it a lot though 

 **Tsukissyma:** what do you mean? 

 **Akyaashee:** if it's because they're homophobic I can fight 

 **Hooters:** defend Kindaichi 

 **KingHairwax:** ah, it's not like that ;; 

 **Tsukissyma:** The speed in which Akaashi answered scares me 

 **KingHairwax:** They just want me to focus on studies instead of relationships 

 **Godziwa:** But a date or two won't hurt 

 **Hooters:** exactly! You go and have fun, Kindaichi! 

 **KingHairwax:** I will! Thanks guys! 

 **Akyaashee:** And don't worry if it goes wrong, you can always make the next one better! 

 **Rasputin:** make sure to tell us about it! 

 **Godziwa:** Come to think of it, we haven't heard of Tsukishima's first date 

 **Tsukissyma:** Well it was better than the one with the wallet incident 

 **Hooters:** Lol wallet incident 

 **Tsukissyma:** IT WAS NOT FUCKING FUNNY OKAY? 

 **KingHairwax:** was your first date good? 

 **Tsukissyma:** well, it was enjoyable but there was a mix-up with movie tickets and we had to watch a horror movie instead of the crime movie 

 **Akyaashee:** isn't crime a horror movie in a sense? 

 **Godziwa:** not necessarily 

 **Godziwa:** unless the crime is the main character's grandfather walking around with underpants on his face with a bloody machete 

 **Rasputin:** I could have gone about the rest of my life not having to imagine that 

 **Tsukissyma:** Kuroo freaked out when the horror movie featured a stabbing 

 **Hooters:** ow that's gross 

 **KingHairwax:** a... stabbing??? 

 **Tsukissyma:** but when we watched the crime movie during our second date, it featured multiple limbs and organs strewn about the scene 

 **KingHairwax:** OH GOD THAT'S SO GROSS 

 **Akyaashee:** I think I just threw up in my mouth 

 **Godziwa:** so you swallowed it? That's even more disgusting 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this, please leave a comment to let me know how I'm doing. NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE WRITTEN IWAKIN CHAPTER!!! Get hyped up, friendos. =v=


	15. Are first dates meant to be bad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi knocked on Kindaichi's door, exhaling once and awaiting his response. He wasn't anxious about his first date with his first boyfriend. All the cringeworthy first date horror stories that everyone had told him wouldn't happen, not on his watch. His palms were slippery, but that didn't mean that he was nervous in any way. 
> 
> Iwaizumi and Kindaichi's first date takes an unexpected turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHA FUCK YES IT'S WRITTEN! THE IWAKIN!! I really should have finished this yesterday, but I was dealing with some not-so-fun stuff and I didn't want any of that negativity finding its way into my fic. Well, I hope you enjoy this!

Iwaizumi knocked on Kindaichi's door, exhaling once and awaiting his response. He wasn't anxious about his first date with his first boyfriend. All the cringeworthy first date horror stories that everyone had told him wouldn't happen, not on his watch. His palms were slippery, but that didn't mean that he was nervous in any way.

"Iwaizumi-san! You came!" Kindaichi squeaked about an octave higher than his usual voice. Iwaizumi knew that Kindaichi couldn't hide his nervousness if he tried. It was obvious that the thoughts of their date turning into a horror story were getting to him.

Kindaichi stammered at him to come in, and Iwaizumi found himself growing warmer. "Thanks for inviting me today." Iwaizumi stepped into the plain-looking genkan, taking off his shoes and fixing his gaze on a wall hanging of mountains varying in size.

Following Kindaichi into the sitting room, Iwaizumi put on his best confident face. "Do you want to watch something? If you don't mind me picking, I brought the Godzilla DVD over." He took initiative quickly, determined to prevent any awkward silences from happening.

"I don't mind!" Kindaichi nodded hastily, hopping onto the white sofa. "I've actually always wanted to watch that," he admitted as Iwaizumi fed the disc into the player and joined him on the sofa.

Iwaizumi sat through the movie with a shine in his eyes. Godzilla was one of his favourites, but his attention wasn't entirely on the film, for the first time in his life. He wanted to catch every expression on Kindaichi's face, making sure that he was enjoying himself. There wasn't much conversation between the two, but listening to Kindaichi make little surprises noises occasionally was enough for him.

"I think I understand why you're obsessed with Godzilla now," Kindaichi's hands moved around each other as the credits rolled. Iwaizumi felt a burst of pride erupt in his chest, but he could also tell that it was fondness, something that he had experienced quite often ever since he started going out with Kindaichi.

Taking out the DVD and placing it back into the case, Iwaizumi grinned proudly. "That is my ultimate goal in life, Kindaichi. You're one of us now," he joked, patting his boyfriend on the shoulder.

"Thank you...?" Kindaichi answered uncertainly. Iwaizumi plopped down beside him again after setting the case down on the coffee table, loosely wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

Iwaizumi rested his head on Kindaichi's shoulder, once he was certain that he wasn't uncomfortable in any way. He felt a quiet exhale of comfort come from Kindaichi, and warm hands clasping onto his own soon after. "Is it okay if we stay like this for a while?" Iwaizumi whispered, and a nod came from beside him.

Leaning on his taller boyfriend was something that Iwaizumi had hardly done. He found himself almost nodding off, until the warmth beside him disappeared all of a sudden. A soft startled noise came from his mouth, and he cracked his eyes open.

"I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll be back soon," Kindaichi replied in a tone that was almost curt, but normal enough to Iwaizumi for him to chalk it up to tiredness. Even though they had cuddled wordlessly, the sitting room seemed too quiet all of a sudden.

Iwaizumi leaned back and waited for Kindaichi to come back so that they could hug again, but he was taking far longer than he had expected. Maybe he had dropped his phone in the toilet, but Kindaichi was the person he least expected to take his phone anywhere near a bathroom.

Concluding that Kindaichi must have had some sort of bathroom crisis in one way or another, Iwaizumi set about looking for him. The house had about three doors in the hallway, and a faint noise coming from one of the rooms made it easy for Iwaizumi to locate which door led to the bathroom.

Just as Iwaizumi inched towards the door, it opened right into his face. The impact was strong. He had no time to properly get out of the way, and before he knew it, he was dripping blood onto the hardwood floor. He hissed in pain, but that disappeared into Kindaichi's horrified squawk.

"Oh crap, I'm sorry!"

Both males clumsily grabbed handfuls of toilet paper, wiping down the stained floor and Iwaizumi's nose. Iwaizumi was too dazed to register the pain until he was sitting down with an ice pack pressed to his nose. Kindaichi seemed shaken up by the fact that nosebleeds could travel a long way, especially when the effects of gravity were put in place.

"So, what took you so long?" Iwaizumi asked, tipping his head forward in an effort to get the blood out of his nostrils. "Considering how bad I look right now, I would not judge you if you told me that you clogged the toilet." He added, with no irony. Two streaks ran from under his nose to the end of his chin, the blood caked and dried.

Kindaichi culrled up closer to Iwaizumi, heaving a regretful sigh as he passed his boyfriend some gauze soaked in water to clean up. "It's nothing like that, I can assure you." He let out a dry laugh. "I was feeling nauseous because of some weird food I bought yesterday."

Iwaizumi made a sympathetic sound, noticing that Kindaichi looked rather pale. He was about to give him a lecture about taking care of himself, but then remembered that it wasn't Oikawa he was talking to. Besides, he wasn't in a position to say anything like that himself.

"Do you still feel like shit?" Iwaizumi could feel his protective instincts coming out, but his question was met with a rapid head-shake.

"I feel a lot better now, but I don't think I will be eating anything sold on the side of the path anytime soon." Kindaichi shuddered, seemingly comfortable to joke about it after realising that Iwaizumi wasn't in a much better situation than himself.

The two stared at each other's worn-out faces and burst out laughing, knowing that their date had ended up almost as wrecked as the towns in Godzilla. "I guess first dates are meant to end up bad, huh? Curse that bagel chat for jinxing it," Kindaichi rolled his eyes, kicking his legs forward.

"Well, how about we have a snack?" Iwaizumi's answer from Kindaichi was a grimace, but he continued to speak to explain further. "I am certainly craving some water and saltines." Kindaichi's expression returned back to neutral once Iwaizumi suggested something that both of them could hopefully eat without much problem.

Huddling close wrapped in blankets while wiping blood off his face and watching bad comedy shows with his exhausted boyfriend wasn't something Iwaizumi had planned for his first visit to said boyfriend's house, but it wasn't a bad date at all. Quite frankly, a date with Kindaichi wouldn't ever be described as bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like it, please make the author happy by leaving a comment or two! They're always greatly appreciated. =v=


	16. Nasal Packs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **KingHairwax:** wait oh god that looks so painful 
> 
>  **Akyaashee:** some people like the pain 
> 
>  **Tsukissyma:** like Bokuto? 
> 
>  **Hooters:** oh shit I've been found out 
> 
>  **Godziwa:** no thanks 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the love of everything good and sweet please don't look up nasal packs

**Hooters:** so... how'd the first date go, lovebirds? 

 **Godziwa:** I think you guys are more fit to be called lovebirds 

 **Rasputin:** did it end well? 

 **KingHairwax:** it began well and ended well 

 **Tsukissyma:** so what happened in the middle 

 **Akyaashee:** wasn't it an at-home date? Not many things can go wrong 

 **Tsukissyma:** you'd be surprised 

 **Godziwa:** I ended up with a nosebleed while Kindaichi was suffering from food poisoning but it was all good in the end 

 **Rasputin:** lol what did you make him Iwaizumi 

 **KingHairwax:** it wasn't Iwaizumi, it was some weird food I bought at a street corner 

 **Hooters:** don't ever buy food from a street corner again. I tried it 5 times and the outcome was the same 

 **Akyaashee:** can confirm. He once gave it to me too 

 **Rasputin:** lmao thanks for the PSA 

 **Tsukissyma:** how did you get a nosebleed Iwaizumi? 

 **Godziwa:** I leaned too close to a door and when Kindaichi opened it, it hit my face 

 **Akyaashee:** That's a weirder reason than I thought 

 **Hooters:** well at least it didn't come from BDSM 

 **KingHairwax:** what's BDSM? 

 **Rasputin:** uh Akaashi can explain 

 **Akyaashee:** fuck you string bean 

 **Akyaashee:** it's... this... thing? Where you tie people up and stuff 

 **Tsukissyma:** basically kinky shit 

 **Hooters:** you guys are so bad at explaining holy crap 

 **Godziwa:** are you sure you want to know, Kindaichi? 

 **KingHairwax:** eh

_Hooters posted a link._

**Hooters:** it's better if you just watch this 

 **Rasputin:** ew you should have posted something with a better thumbnail 

 **KingHairwax:** so it's porn..? 

 **KingHairwax:** wait oh god that looks so painful 

 **Akyaashee:** some people like the pain 

 **Tsukissyma:** like Bokuto? 

 **Hooters:** oh shit I've been found out 

 **Godziwa:** no thanks 

 **Hooters:** has your nose gotten better? 

 **Godziwa:** yep, it was just a door, after all 

 **KingHairwax:** If it were still bleeding, that would be really bad.. 

 **Akyaashee:** oh yeah, you'd have to have nasal packs 

 **Tsukissyma:** nasal packs? What were those again? 

 **Godziwa:** aren't they those gauze sticks you stuff up your nose? 

 **Rasputin:** but... how do you take those out? 

 **Hooters:** well you can't leave them in, can you? 

 **KingHairwax:** I don't really get it

 **Tsukissyma:** eh, I don't think you'd want to 

_Akyaashee posted a link._

**Godziwa:** oh god no.... 

 **Rasputin:** FUCK FUCK FUCK HOW DO I UNSEE THAT 

 **KingHairwax:** is that all blood?? 

 **Tsukissyma:** I actually think I'm going to throw up I was eating 

 **Hooters:** really?? What were you eating? 

 **Tsukissyma:** mozzarella sticks 

 **Godziwa:** AAAAAAAAAAGH 

 **Rasputin:** I would rather take a BB gun to my forehead 

 **Hooters:** I actually had that done to me when I was little 

 **Akyaashee:** really? Why did that happen? 

 **KingHairwax:** oh god I feel so bad for you 

 **Hooters:** I faceplanted into the hard wooden bit around a sandbox and I was bleeding a lot 

 **Tsukissyma:** ow why did you do that 

 **Rasputin:** I'm pretty sure he did not WANT to 

 **Hooters:** when they take it out it's even worse because you can feel the gauze, blood and Napoleon's army exiting out your nose 

 **Godziwa:** I'm willing to bet my soul that it took more than 3 nurses to hold you still 

 **Tsukissyma:** I thought you liked pain 

 **Hooters:** Well it's not the same 

 **Akyaashee:** Tsukishima, would you take a volleyball to the face just because you like volleyball? Exactly. 

 **KingHairwax:** I can picture little Bokuto screaming "IT WON'T FIT IN AAAAGGGHHAAA" 

 **Rasputin:** pretty sure that's not the last time he screamed that 

 **Godziwa:** STOP BEING NASTY 


	17. Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Akyaashee:** but the interesting thing is, we'll be facing off with the members of the Panini chat 
> 
>  **KingHairwax:** panini chat..? 
> 
>  **Rasputin:** so Kuroo is in it? 
> 
>  **Tsukissyma:** uh fuck no bye fuck this shit I'm out 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I might not update as often because mocks are gonna hit me hard soon and it's gonna be hella stressful. I'll still be able to write this regularly though, just maybe not every day. Thanks!

**Hooters:** I have an important announcement to make, my friends. 

 **Tsukissyma:** what, did you prostate stop working? 

 **Akyaashee:** I can assure you that his prostate works just fine. 

 **Godziwa:** oh god stop with the intimacy 

 **KingHairwax:** what's the news? 

 **Hooters:** I regret to inform you that we must disband this chat soon. 

 **Rasputin:** what??? :( 

 **Hooters:** I know T_T 

 **Godziwa:** is there a particular reason as to why? 

 **Tsukissyma:** maybe you guys haven't heard me sigh at this chat 

 **Akyaashee:** but the interesting thing is, we'll be facing off with the members of the Panini chat 

 **KingHairwax:** panini chat..? 

 **Rasputin:** so Kuroo is in it? 

 **Tsukissyma:** uh fuck no bye fuck this shit I'm out 

 **Hooters:** and we have to do something to impress them! 

 **KingHairwax:** do we dance or something? 

 **Rasputin:** lol Kindaichi this isn't a school talent show 

 **Godziwa:** well not many of us have talent so..? 

 **Tsukissyma:** huh 

 **Akyaashee:** Iwaizumi let's leave the roasting till later 

 **Rasputin:** I say we should make a rap boasting our accomplishments in this chat 

 **KingHairwax:** what did we accomplish 

 **Hooters:** now this is a story all about how a bagel flipped turned upside down 

 **Akyaashee:** no wait 

 **Akyaashee:** now this is a story all about how a bagel flipped our lives over 

 **Tsukissyma:** OH MY GOD. 

 **Godziwa:** and I'd like to take a look at Kuroo right there 

 **Tsukissyma:** I'll tell you how I became his prince in a drunken affair 

 **Hooters:** OKAY THIS IS A GREAT IDEA LET'S DISCUSS THIS 

 **Hooters:** when I look at Akaashi, my dick is raised

 **KingHairwax:** no gross stuff pls 

 **Akyaashee:** we should include the whole Lev's confession thing and Iwaizumi's nosebleed date 

 **Rasputin:** I pulled up a paper sign about seven or eight 

 **Rasputin:** and I yelled to Yaku-san, Yo, we'll chat later 

 **Tsukissyma:** He got in one little fight with Kindaichi's door 

 **Godziwa:** you guys are the worst 

 **Godziwa:** I love it 

 **Hooters:** okay everyone type out your ideas for each line and we'll mash all the best ideas together 

 **KingHairwax:** so.. who is in the panini chat? 

 **Hooters:** Well, Kuroo's in it for sure! 

 **Tsukissyma:** Guys... 

 **Tsukissyma:** I think I know why Suga's started to draw personified paninis 

 **Akyaashee:** what the fuck 

 **Godziwa:** come to think of it, Oikawa's been complaining about how the panini chat is becoming like a cult 

 **Rasputin:** a...cult? 

 **KingHairwax:** just yesterday I heard him singing "Panini" to the tune of Take On Me 

 **Akyaashee:** I'm pretty interested to know how our face-off will end up 

 **Hooters:** the date is set, five days from now! If it doesn't suit you.. 

 **Tsukissyma:** I can't go I'll be sick that day 

 **KingHairwax:** are you okay??? 

 **Godziwa:** no worries I'll drag you 

 **Rasputin:** the Bagel Chat will rule the battle 

 **Rasputin:** we swore on the Bagel Oath 

 **Akyaashee:** we are all certified bagelians 

 **Hooters:** BAGEL, BAGEL! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE FACE OFF SHALL COMMENCE! The next chapter will be the last, but don't worry, this is a series :)


	18. Bagel Rap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A doughy rap concludes our journey of the bagels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya guys! Sorry for the short end chapter, I've decided to leave the panini performance until the end of the panini chatfic, so stay tuned for my next fic in this series!

Footsteps echoed in the gymnasium as the members of the bagel chat stepped in, marching in a somewhat orderly way and lining up side by side. A sigh from Tsukishima echoed inside the gymnasium, bouncing off the walls.

"It's been a while, Kuroo."

Kuroo entered full clad in a panini suit, hoisted up into the air by all of the other panini chat members. Namely Suga, Ushijima, Goshiki and Oikawa. All wore handlebar moustaches, looking varying degrees of ridiculous.

"You guys are like a straight-up cult," Iwaizumi commented, his attention shifting over to Oikawa. He had never seen his childhood friend willingly dress up in something so strange. He highly doubted that he had a choice.

"That's what I've been telling you, Iwa-chan." Ignoring Oikawa's glare, Iwaizumi crossed his arms as a muffled snigger came from Akaashi.

Bokuto took out a coin, waving it for all to see. "Heads or tails, Kuroo? Losers go second."

"Tails,"

Bokuto threw the coin in the air, swiping his open hand across the air and catching it before it tumbled onto the wooden floor. As he placed it on the back of his hand, he grinned. "Bagel chat will take the liberty of performing first."

"Wait, really!? We're first?" The first years chorused in unison, as the older members of the chat dragged them up to the top of the stage. They looked distinctly unprepared compared to the panini members, but events were progressing too quickly for them to fix themselves up.

"Now this is a story, all about how a bagel flipped our lives over!" Bokuto started the rap off, and the panini chat members all smiled at the childhood reference, which was hard to tell due to the moustache makeover.

"And I'd like to take a look at Kuroo right there, I'll tell you how I became his prince in a drunken affair." Tsukishima drawled monotonously, but it was enough to send the small audience into fits of laughter.

Suga and Oikawa were quick to give Kuroo the elbow to the side, while Goshiki had practically spit all over the floor after attempting to hide his laughter. "Go on, Tsukishima!" Suga yelled, wiggling his eyebrows and earning a look of disgust from Tsukishima.

"In Eastern Asia, born and raised. In the club room was where I confessed my love for Yaku!" Lev's statement triggered a surprised reaction from all the Miyagi students, who hadn't been aware of the fact that Lev wasn't born in Russia.

"Chilling out, watching Ring with everyone, nobody told me it was a horror film!" Kindaichi shouted into the microphone, dropping it almost immediately after due to nervousness.

"When Bokuto-san, he was up to no good! Started making trouble with a knife in hand!" Akaashi kicked Bokuto hard at the memory of the dreaded knife game song. All eyes shifted to Bokuto's scarred hand. Bokuto waved his hand around proudly, while Akaashi gave him a disapproving look.

"I got in one little fight with Kindaichi's door, and my nose bled lots!" Iwaizumi's line caused Oikawa to fall down in hysterics, while somebody in the audience whistled tauntingly.

"We said, you've really got to get a room with your boyfriend there!" Tsukishima delivered his line that he had called dibs on long before anyone else, sounding considerably more enthusiastic. He had echoed the sentiments of the entire audience.

An applause filled the gymnasium, although the audience seemed rather baffled that the song had ended there. "What, aren't you gonna add the bit with the cab?" Kuroo queried, while Ushijima asked Oikawa what the rap was meant to be about.

"Ushiwaka-chan, have you even had a childhood? Is your brain only filled with volleyball and peanut butter?" Oikawa muttered incredulously after repeatedly asking Ushijima if he watched any television when he was younger.

Kindaichi laughed nervously and slumped to the floor, glad that their incomplete performance had been enough to satisfy the panini chat leader. It was impossible to tell whether he has really enjoyed it or not, but that wasn't what mattered.

"Well, that was an excellent performance, considering that Bokuto was leading the group." Kuroo commented, his face lightened up with a sarcastic smile. An offended "Hey!" came from Bokuto, which ended with a giggle.

"I can't take your criticism seriously when you're dressed as a humanoid panini,"

"Touché," Kuroo agreed, with mild respect. "Now, it's our turn to steal the show."


End file.
